Safe [punk l.t.]

Chapter 42

Louis' P.O.V

Shit shit shit.

It's fu.cking freezing outside and I can't believe I was stupid enough to be walking around unfamiliar territory in the rain on top of the fact that I keep hurting the people I love.

Wait. Love?

I'm at war with myself, my emotions tearing and ripping me at the seams. I didn't want to push Jess in to doing anything she'd regret and now she's placing the blame on me. I longed for the whole situation to vanish as I muddled quietly whilst walking.

I slipped through an alley and onto a main road hosting a small pub. I entered the dimly lit establishment in hopes of drowning my sorrows. The joint reeked of cigarette smoke and alcohol, senses bringing me back to my father's old habits that had developed into mine not long ago. I took a seat at the bar as a busty redhead approached me.

"What can I get ya, doll?"

"A Corona is all for now," I snipped.

"Comin' right up," she flashed me a smile and returned with the bottle. Walking away, I caught the name tag on her sleeve identifying her as "Florence".

I took a small swig of my beer, savoring its sweet taste. I swished it around the glass tantalizing before bringing my lips to the opening. Too entranced I barely noticed the brief tug on my sleeve.

"Aye lad, you seem down, yeah? Could use this 'ere to pick you up," a lad with choppy blond locks offered me a cigarette.

"Thanks mate," I accepted, yearning for the feeling of the object in my mouth.

I lit up and took a drag, holding in the putrid toxin. As soon as I felt the familiar burning in my lungs, I exhaled. But it wasn't the kind of release I needed.

Jess' P.O.V

Two hours had passed since Louis left. Harry was sitting on the couch watching TV while I sat next to him chewing my nails nervously. I needed to know where he had fled and most importantly if he was okay. Guilt finally getting the best of me I jumped up off the couch and turned to Harry.

"Harry, I'm sorry, but I can't take this anymore. The waiting...the h-helplessness I f-feel...I just-" I couldn't even finish my sentence as loud sobs racked my body.

"Jess. Jess, shh, it's going to be alright," Harry immediately jumped up at my distress and put an arm around me. "We'll go out and find him, okay?"

I sniffed and nodded, pulling away from him. I giggled as a remembered that Louis got jealous when Harry had hugged me before. I loved these things about Louis. The way he managed to get jealous at any little thing. His habits, the fact that he was changing, for me. I realized that I missed him and I needed to tell him I was ready to admit something to him.

"I'll get the car, get ready and I'll meet you downstairs," Harry strategized.

I nodded as he grabbed his keys and peacoat. I put on my rain boots along with my jacket and a beanie. I left Harry's flat, in too much of a hurry to bother locking it and flew down the hall to the lobby. I raced outside spotting Harry's Audi and climbed in. Once inside, Harry turned onto the main road away from his flat.

"Can you think of any places Lou might be?" Harry inquired.

"None, I have no idea where he could of possibly wandered."

We thought in silence as we drove past shops and resteraunts all flooding with people.

"Is there ant places you two used to go in the past?" I asked Harry hopefully.

"As younger lads we used to go down to the local pubs in such," he offered.

"Then let's try any pubs we see."

We stopped at multiple pubs, the two of us even splitting up to try to find him. All we got were blank stares and wolf whistles directed at me. Just as we were about to give up hope, there was one last pub in sight, off a small alley. Harry parked and we walked inside. It was darker and smelled worse than any of the other pubs we had attended that day. At first glance the public seemed to be made up of fishermen until familiar feathery brown hair caught my eye. I rushed over to the figure slumped over the bar, almost in a trance.

"Louis?" I squeaked, scared I would set him off again.

His usual warm scent was replaced by that of beer and smoke. Turning, his eyes seemed to clear of the foggy state he was in enough to process who I was.

"Jess?" He cracked. "How'd you manage to-"

Before he could say anymore I wrapped my arms around his neck, not caring that his demenor was not "my Louis". He was safe and he was here with me and that was all that mattered. I squeezed him until one of his arms came up and lightly pressed on my back.

"Oh Louis, I'm so sorry," I whispered in his ear, finally letting him go.

"No baby," he hushed me. "I can't keep doing this to you," he said with an odd brokeness.

"What do you mean?" I asked him in a rush, heart stopping.

"I'm not good for you, I need to stay away from you."

He got up from the stool and walked out of the bar, Harry noticing and trailing behind me. It was still pouring outside, the cold making me shudder.

"And do what? Huh?" I yelled at him and he turned in surprise. "What happened to the guy who told me he'd protect me? Keep me safe? You promised me Louis!"

"Well I guess promises are meant to be broken. Can't you see, Jess?" He sighed in rage. "I. Keep. Hurting. You. How can I protect you from evil forces in the world when it seems like I'm the evil?"

"Louis you are not the evil I need protection from. You've changed! I wish you could see that! You changed for me, you're better for me. But right now, you can't leave me Louis Tomlinson. And I won't let you."

"Then enlighten me beautiful," he cocked his head with keen interest. "Why should I stay?"

"Because I love you."