Year 5801 (Qiza)
"My child is back. "
Qiza waved her hand as she headed inside the house. The doting eyes of her father made her slightly happy and somewhat irked, then guilty for being annoyed.
"My Precious Gem, are you all right?" Her father asked her. She cringed and mentally rolled her eyes. I'm no precious gem.
Just because I'm his daughter I'm a precious gem. This guy is too biased.
I mean it's better to have a loving father than an abusive one, mostly I appreciate him but sometimes he can be too much.
"I'm fine. How was your day?" Asked Qiza as she sat across her father.
Her father smiled and said. "Today I had another argument with the owner, this time I will definitely resign."
"You always say this and you can't. You have debts to pay." She said. And when her father pouted and she almost smiled.
"I'm thinking of getting a new loan---"Her mother cut off his words and placed the food on the table and said. "No! This man! First pay off your debts." Qiza mentally sighed as her parents started arguing over money.
I just want to get away from them and why they're at my place?
She thought about kicking them out from her house and then felt bad thinking about that, the guilt and annoyance over her situation with her parents was too much, she had been ignoring, pushing down her feelings that she no longer have hold on them, she doesn't understand what she feels, it like she became numb, empty.
She chose to ignore her parents quarrel and went to her room, she was not sure what she was feeling but there was a sense of loss, grief. But why? She doesn't understand. What does she lack? Why she feels so empty? It's not like she had terrible childhood. Aside her mother cold behavior and lack of warmth and the constant money issues, she had a decent childhood, many people doesn't have parents and but she does? So why? She was a rebellious child, so that must be the reason why her mother was so cold? Or maybe her father coddled her too much?
Why I'm like this? Why I can't get excited? It's like there's no zeal left in me. All I want to be alone and have self autonomy and these people won't leave me alone. Why are they here? I am an adult. I'm capable of living alone.
They might be concerned about my safety but..... but they take too much of my space. They get in my space, they invade my space like they have all the rights on me. I just want to be alone.
She wanted to cry but tears won't slip from her eyes, she felt numb, hollow and empty.
I can't wait to die. Why the hell I am even alive? What's the point of it all?
I'm so gloomy and pathetic.
To calm herself and the storm which was brewing inside of her and to understand what she was feeling and why?
She started writing in her "Emotional outlet notebook" which does help her feel better, it does help her with processing and understanding of her emotional turmoil.
These days I don't want to wake up,
Embrace me sleep, let me be in peace,
My smile is so fake,
Even when I try I'm always slacking, or maybe lacking?
YOU ARE READING
Entwined
Mystery / Thriller"I don't want your trust. I only want you to keep me." °°°°°° In this world nothing matters or maybe it does but Qiza does not care about anyone or anything, she is waiting for her end. Only one thing, one person matters most to Waheed. Some say he...
