𝐖𝐀𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐓 | 𝟏𝟖+

FORTY-ONE

R O M A N

"But at least I have the memory."

. . .

Darkness envelops me and I feel numb as I guide Michelle through the hallways. I don't really register anything; the bass of the music goes through me yet I can't feel a thing.

Michelle is still pressed against me, and she huddles even closer when we go outside and step into the cold night air.

"My car is there," she says and points down the street. I nod and together, we walk off until we reach her ride.

"Thank you for walking me out," she sighs and steps back as soon as we stopped walking. "Of course, don't worry about it," I assure her.

She gives me a brief hug, which I return and then I stay around until she's gotten in her car and has driven away.

I turn back around and head back to the club.

I've known Michelle nearly my entire life, having been a childhood friend of Milena's. And when she came up to me to ask if I could walk her out because she didn't feel comfortable going alone, I didn't hesitate.

Though, I know it must've looked like something else as Alyssa was watching. My heart aches at the reminder and my jaw clenches on its own.

As I enter the club and go back to the dancefloor upstairs, I don't want to admit that I yearn to see her again.

It's her birthday.

Milena didn't have to drag me here, because a part of me knew she was going to be here.

I just had to see her for one second. And when I did, relief and anguish coursed through me at the same time.

A stab went through my heart when I saw her, dancing with her friends while looking so fucking good she caught the attention of so many people.

I almost went over and held her, but I didn't. I just stood there, frozen and waiting on her to see me as well.

My heart burns at the look on her face when Michelle came up to me. I'm petty, sue me. I wanted her to feel a fraction of the pain I felt, and yet it didn't feel as satisfying as I'd hoped.

Now, I just feel shitty and even worse than before.

I quickly find my sister by the bar, chatting with a random guy and I take a seat next to her.

"Hey, you're back," she shouts when she spots me. I nod and don't say anything else.

"You look so somber too," she groans, "You have for weeks now, what's going on?"

I look at my sister and see the frown on her face. She's been looking at me like this for a while now whenever she saw me.

"Nothing," I mutter and look around the club again. I glance around the bar and immediately spot Alyssa.

Seeing her gives me a take of fresh air, yet it kills me.

She's chugging back some shots that the bartender is pouring her, and then she takes off to the dancefloor.

I want to join her, put my hands on her, and let everyone know who she belongs to.

But she's not mine.

I continue to watch her for the rest of the evening, ignoring my sister and not caring about my brother's whereabouts.

Alyssa is clearly drunk, but it looks like she's enjoying herself. I can't keep my eyes off her.