I Love You ~ Louis Tomlinson

More Time

"Can I be honest with you?" Louis asks her one night as they lay on the couch in his dressing room. 

The boys go on stage in a few hours and for once they have some down time. The venue is big, there's enough dressing rooms for each of them and a small rec room. 

"Yeah, of course." She says seriously and puts an elbow to the side of him to prop herself up. 

"I'm kind of mad at myself," he admits. 

"Why? What happened?" She coos, putting her hand on his chest and furrowing her eyebrows. 

"Just the way I acted the other day," he huffs. "I know you said it's okay and I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it."

"Hm. I'm sorry you're hurting baby," she says because she's not sure what else to say. 

She's not mad at him, she just wishes he didn't feel like that, but she has to accept his feelings. She wants to as well, she wants him to be open about anything and everything, she just wishes they'd pass this phase. 

She's willing to wait though as long as it takes, she'll do anything she can to help him feel better. 

"Not your fault," he shrugs and moves to sit up. 

"No, I know. I'm not trying to say it is, but it doesn't make me any less sorry." She sits up as well, shifting to get more comfortable and pulling her legs up underneath her. "Do you want to talk about it more?" He shrugs so she urges him on, leaning over and bumping her nose against his. "How is it making you feel?"

"You could make good money as a therapist love," Louis jokes

"Louis," she warns, but smiles regardless. "Anyway I quite like my job thank you."

"Good, you should keep it," he grins cheesily. 

"Remember, letting you're guard down yeah?" She asks.

"I'm trying," he whines playfully.

Natalie giggles, but sobers up quickly. "I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't rush you. Thank you for telling me."

It gets quiet as she lays on her stomach, chin propped up on Louis' leg. There's faint music in the background and somewhere in the distance she can hear some of the boys chatting and laughing. 

She wonders if she's holding Louis back. He'd more than likely be out there with them if it wasn't for her. Does he miss touring without a girlfriend? Does he wish it was different sometimes?

Before their fight the other day she would have just asked him, but now things feel fragile and she doesn't want to stress him out even more. 

But he's looking at her with this small smile and his eyes never leave hers and he looks content. 

Aren't looks deceiving though? 

She closes her eyes as he starts drawing patterns on her bare back, her cropped tank top leaving him a lot of room create shapes. 

She lets out a deep breath to try to let the thoughts out that have gotten trapped in her mind, it doesn't work.

"Well that was a big breath there sweetie," Louis startles her and her eyes shoot open. "Everything okay love?" 

"Yeah," she nods her head awkwardly against his leg. 

"You sure?" He asks, taking her chin gently in his hand and tilting it up a bit. 

"Course," she lies. "Think I'm going to go take a shower, why don't you go head out there with the boys," she suggests. 

Louis nods and she gets up off him, allowing him to get out from underneath her. She goes to start grabbing her towel and toiletries, but he stops her. 

"Kiss? Please?" He asks, puckering his lips. 

She could never deny him, especially when he's so polite. "Well since you asked nicely," she teases and is welcomed into his waiting arms. He leans down, wrapping his arms all the way around her back to pull her close to him and she just sinks into it. Her body melting into his as her arms wrap around his neck to keep her from falling right to the floor with how much she likes him. 

He pulls back and kisses her forehead as she drops her arms, but only to move them lower and wrap them around his waist. She doesn't want to let him go. 

She's not exactly sure why her mind is making her so sad. 

He kisses the top of her head a few times and then turns to rest his cheek on it. He's so sweet she wants to cry.  She sniffs quietly and pulls back. 

Louis grabs her face in one of his hand and lets his thumb gently graze her cheek before he's turned around and going out to meet the boys. 

This is a good thing, it's what she wanted. 

She closes her eyes and sits back down on the couch with both her arms wrapped around her waist. She didn't lie, she will take a shower, she's just not ready yet. 

Liam knocks on the door and she lets him know he can come in. "Came in to borrow a charger, Louis said you had one." He looks over at her and his face immediate softens. "You alright?" He asks quietly. 

"Yeah, sure." She says half heartedly. 

"Can I get you anything?" He asks kindly. He's always trying to take care of people, he's such a good friend.

"No, I think I'm alright. Just about to head in the shower," she knows she doesn't sound convincing, but she doesn't want to lie and pretend at the same time.  

"You think?" He pries gently. 

She shrugs instead of responding. If she wasn't willing to talk to Louis about it she doesn't know that she should say something to one of his best friends. Liam would probably have good advice, but it just feels weird. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He offers. 

"I don't know I just feel weird," she says in lieu of explaining the actual problem. 

"Does something hurt?" He asks sounding concerned. 

"No, not really. More like emotionally," she tells him. 

"Ah," Liam says and walks closer to the couch, "Can I sit?"

"Of course," she nods. 

"You know what helps me, when I'm confused about how I feel?" Liam asks. 

"What?" She questions. 

"I try to pinpoint which one feels the strongest. That way I can address it ya know, it doesn't always work, but it might." He shrugs. 

"What if you don't want to deal with what you're feeling the strongest?" She asks. 

"Hm," he chuckles, "Then just give it some time. You can address it when you're ready."

"Thanks Li," she smiles. 

"Can I hug you?" Liam asks as he gets up. 

"I'd love it," she gets up and walks into his welcoming arms. He really is a very great friend. 

"If you ever need anything or someone to talk to you know I'm here okay?" He offers. 

"Thank you. Hey same goes for you," she says nudging her arm. 

"Thanks. See ya later." He waves and then he's off. 

She waves back and finally gets to do what she set out to. Maybe he's right, maybe she just needs more time.