The Scars That Broke Her

Prologue

"All rise, this court is in session." The judge's voice boomed through the courtroom, instantly quieting any chatter that had arisen from its participants. I stood next to my older brother, Tate, and father, as we anxiously waited for what was about to happen. My fingers played nervously on the hem of my white lace skirt. Much to my dismay, my father had insisted I dress up for this occasion, though I wasn't sure why. It wasn't like what I was wearing was going to affect the outcome any.

As if sensing my nerves, or maybe he just saw my nervous fiddling, Tate reached his hand down, taking my small hand in his much larger one. We were only a year apart, but Tate had already grown so much bigger than me, making me feel small.

My head followed everyone else's as we turned our attention to the wooden door at the front of the room, you know the one next to the judge's podium where they bring out the criminals. Tate squeezed my hand, as he stared intently at the door, waiting for it to open. Not a second later, the door pushed free.

As much as I wanted them to, my eyes couldn't shift away from the scene. It had been almost two months since her arrest. Two months since I've seen her. Two months since I've hugged her. Though it has only been two months, I was astonished with how much she had changed. Her once beautiful long, golden locks had been cut every which way, leaving her with a pixie cut of all different lengths. Her vibrant blues eyes were now dark, and dull, and angry. She pulled against the officers aggressively, showing a side to her I had never witnessed. I guess what they say is true; maybe prison does change a person.

My mother walked through the door, escorted by two police officers. Their faces were stern as they pulled her to the table where her lawyer stood. My mothers' eyes travelled through the crowd quickly, before landing on us. Her face hardened, no doubt because she wasn't expecting us to be here. I wanted nothing more than to jump over the wooden gate keeping us trapped away from her and wrap her tightly in my arms. She looked like she needed it. But as much as I wanted to, I knew that women that stood in front of us was no longer my mother. She turned her head away, quickly.

The judge sat, indicating for the rest of the courtroom, well just me and my family and a few bystanders in the back, to sit.

"We are gathered today to discuss the proceedings in the case of Kira, J. Barret vs. the state of Rhode Island." The judge called, looking over the slim glasses placed on his nose. His eyes skimmed over the file he held in his hand. "How do you plea?"

I stared intently at the back of my mother's head as I tried to determine what play she would make. She would plea not guilty, right? I mean she had to fight it. She had to come back to us. Cale had already left us for stupid college. I couldn't lose another member of my family.

Then I remembered, she wasn't my family. Not anymore. Not after what she did.

"Guilty, your honor." My mother's voice was raspy as she spoke, like she had smoked ten packs of cigarettes a day. Which I knew wasn't true. My mother didn't smoke, at least not the mother I knew.

The judge nodded, like he expected her to say that. "Then I hereby sentence you to 25 years to life in federal lock up." He hit his gavel down hard. I felt the color drain from my face. We all knew this was coming. Tate and my father had spoken to me about it hundreds of times in the two months we sat waiting for her trial. Though I was prepared, I never expected his words to sting like they did. I was never going to see her again. My own mother. The women who carried each of her children for nine months. The women who held me when I cried and made me lunch on the first day of school. She was just gone. Erased. Like she never existed. "This court is sojourned."