Lost in the memory

Sixteen

-June 2 2011-

Eddie sat at the hospital, waiting outside of Shannon's room. Finally the DRs invited him in, him getting to see his child's birth was life changing for Eddie. Both him and Shannon holding their baby boy, who's first cries already broke them apart. Eddie was so proud to hold him.

"Christopher" Shannon told the nurse his name.

They picked out the name after St. Christopher. Eddie held Shannon's arm as she cradled their son. Eddie admitting that he did in-fact cry. He typed out a text to all his contacts,

'Baby boy Christopher is here! Seven pounds thirteen ounces.'

Including a picture of his little boy. Not even thinking and hitting send. He cleaned up a-lot of his old contacts, except Bucks.

Buck was half asleep, waking up to that. Today was already terrible for Buck, this made it worse.

Opening his phone, he already was bombarded with picture "memories".

A year ago, his eyes met Eddie, that day in the bar. They both sat there, staring each other down. Both already knowing one another's secrets, both already speaking another language together. And now, Eddie's moved on, found a wife, had a kid. And Buck, Buck was still alone. Just as always. Everyone always leaves Buck, he doesn't know why he tried.

-Present day-

"Okay. That is a beautiful man."

"Where's the lie? And I like girls."

Buck looked over at the person they were talking about, a very good looking guy pulling his shirt over his head, abs exposed. He looked so familiar to him, he's seen this guy before, he's met him.... Where?

"Who the hell is that?" Buck asked

"It's Eddie Diaz. New recruit. Graduated top of his class just this week. Guys over at Station Six were dying to have him, but I convinced him to join us." Bobby said

"Eds" Buck whispered, staring over towards him.

What's he doing here and what do we need him for? Buck took off as Eddie's eyes met the team, not needing to see him again right now.

Chim and Hen both stood there dumbfounded, staring back and forth between them and each other. Bobby tried to follow Buck as Eddie came out of the locker room.

"Buck! Wait!" Eddie yelled.

This confused the others even more.

"Let me handle this, it's because of me... please cap?" Eddie asked

Bobby nodded and motioned the other two to move along.

Eddie found Buck behind the building crying himself into a panic attack.

"What are you doing here! Fuck you!" Buck yelled.

"Buck, I had no clue, I'm sorry." Eddie told him

All the memories flooded back to both of the boys the moment they locked eyes again. Buck refused to look up at Eddie.

"You left me. You left me like everyone else did in this world. I loved you so much it hurt me. I wanted nothing more than to die" Buck sobbed.

Eddie felt horrible.

"I know, and I don't have the words to describe how sorry I am. I thought I had to lead a 'normal life' and I was wrong." Eddie told him.

Eddie took his hand again. The warmth running up Bucks arm, Buck closed his eyes. And for the first time in almost eight years he felt like the weight was off his shoulders again.

"I'm sorry for every single thing I ever did to you. And I don't know how, but I just want to make it up."

Buck bit down on his bottom lip. Smiling softly "you know, everything you did to me wasn't bad"

Eddie blushed, lightly pushing him away laughing "shut up"

Buck finally met his eyes, and the color rushed back into Bucks world. He couldn't believe how much he still loved this man.

"So, how's the kid? Wife?"

Eddie's smile faded a bit. "Chris is good, he's here actually with me, um Shannon left us, I guess it was her turn to run"

"I'm sorry" Buck said

"No, it's my fault. Just like with you, when Chris was born, when we found out he had CP... I ran. I re-enlisted I left. Just like I ran with you. Life became too real, and I ran away." Eddie choked back tears

Buck placed his hand on Eddie's shoulder. "It's okay, I forgive you, I was mad, sad, angry, but you had to do what you did, to keep your family."

Buck understood, if he could still fix his family he would in a heartbeat. Still rarely sees his sister, his parents are still always so distant and cold with him. He doesn't know why exactly. He wishes he could know what was wrong with him. Why they refused him basically.

"This team is my family now, so, I guess welcome to the 118" Buck told Eddie

"Thank you, Buck"

"You're welcome Ed's"

As both of them leaned against that brick wall, the fall breeze chilling both of their faces. They seemed to click, back into their secret language. Bucks head leaned into Eddie's, laying his head on his shoulder. Eddie bit his lip. He didn't have anything to prove, anyone to keep anymore. His sisters are all adults, and if his parents couldn't accept this, fine. He was over sitting in the closet, hurting.

"Buck, can I kiss you" Eddie spoke up

"Please"

And so Eddie turned to face Buck, lightly pushing him against the wall of the firehouse. Cupping his face with his hands. Leaning into the kiss. And again, in 8 years, both men hadn't felt so safe, so happy, so loved than in that moment.

"Diaz, Buck! Do I need to get Hens ambu-" Bobby asked, turning the corner

Both of them broke apart quickly from their kiss, not fast enough for Bobby to see and realize. Bobby stood there for a moment, seeing basically his son with a flustered face and messed up hair. Seeing his newest recruit red faced, hands twitching.

"Ima just go, please remember that you are on shift... and there are cameras."

Bobby walked off quickly, both Eddie and Buck start laughing to each other. Heading back in to a very awkward Bobby, making lunch.

They all sat down, together as a family. Eddie getting to experience the life he has here now. The life that he always dreamed of. The loud banter across the table, them all eating and laughing and telling stories together. It's what both of them always needed. And the two of them, sat impossibly close, hips basically glued together. Buck nodding off on the couch, against Eddie's shoulder.

"You know he never falls asleep like that" Hen hums

Eddie just shrugs. Not sure what to say. Just happy to have him back in his life. Knowing he does have a lot more to make up for the things he's done. Eddie eventually crashes for a nap also. Hen and Chim giggling about how cute they look.

This was home. They were no longer just memories of each others minds.