Love Me Again

19

"What took you so long, hon?"

Lisa asked still maintaining a gentle tone.

"Just-just somebody called from the hospital, but everything is fine now. Don't worry."

Jennie painted a smile and her wife let it past.

"Why haven't you taken a bite yet?"

"I was waiting for you so we could eat together."

Jennie did not bother to reply as she quietly sat and turned off her phone. In her thoughts, she desire to spend this time alone with Lisa and nobody else in the world.

Before Jennie could nail her fork through the dishes, Lisa was the first to pick everything she thought Jennie likes and contentedly filled her plate.

And it was right, everything was perfect, Lisa got it all.

The serving was appropriate, nothing was mixed as how Jennie prefers, the rib steak was slice at the size she would have an easy time to masticate.

In turn, she could only bow her head embarrassed by her inability to reciprocate.

"Let's eat."

And they both shared a rather serene but sorrow-clouded meal.

Half an hour with the last of their plate, one broke the silence.

"Jen, can I fetch you tonight? I can have an early out from work but only if you like."

The hospital, Jennie thought, was an hour and a half drive from the Manoban Corporation and she clearly know and remember how demanding her wife's role is as the CEO.

Yet there she was, offering it all just to obtain something that Jennie cannot give her.

"I'm sorry Lis, there's a lot to accomplish tonight at the hospital. I have a lot of responsibilities to uphold for the interns... I might have to say no."

Jennie's heart shattered with her wife's sudden gloom so she reached her hand and tried to caress it, or more like wished she could take back her words.

"What about I went home at 10? We can stumble on different shows, and spend our evening?"

She saw her Lisa's eyes shimmered which granted her a little of peace in her soul. She thought, at least I made her happy, I wasn't the worse.

"That would definitely do! I'll purchase some snacks and we can enjoy it in our movie room. I know how much we loved it three..."

Lisa realising the taboo, she dropped the conversation entirely.

"I'm sorry... It's just me, I would be waiting for you. Text me if something came around, okay?"

"Right."

Jennie replied with apparent mourn. Indeed, how much they loved it three watching in the movie room. She was always late before and every time she appears, she will behold a sight of Ellie clinging to Lisa sleeping soundly as the latter hold their child close.

Lisa with eyes half-open would always notice her, mouthing silently for her to come and soon an arm extended around her shoulder.

Holding her, like a glue, Lisa was it.

Reminiscing, Jennie hoped she should have been home earlier for a couple of hours, a minute or a nanosecond.

If she could turn the time around, she would have been home.

Now she doesn't recognize the path, faces seemed unfamiliar, a void replaced an old safe zone.

Lisa was her only torch, her fire may not quiver.

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LISA

When I reached the office I felt the exhaustion. I slumped my body upon the sturdy chair and rotate it facing the skyline of Seoul. Every now and then, a cloud would hinder the view but the wind will blow to ensure a balance.

Below the 50th floor, there were thousands of people crossing white lines. Some with families, some with friends, others with romantic partners and a few alone.

I wonder what chaos each of us hold. My eyes would flicker for a mere second, then another wave passes from these sea of random.

I don't ever want this fast-pace change produce a hollow in me. I don't want my thoughts of love be gone, I don't want my feelings to falter. I don't want another person.

But why is it so difficult to keep her?

Once again, I am weeping. I may be at the  highest floor but I feel like falling. I am seeing everything my life was built from these past line of years disappearing from my hold.

Screaming to me I can do nothing, that it's all bound to happen and I should at least rest my soul.

But I don't want to rest. I don't want to not find her. I don't want to not keep her safe and close. I don't want to not choose her when I go and choose myself.

But I am only an inch right at the brink, it is up to Jennie to pull me.

An arm encircled around my torso and as I looked up I saw my secretary Dahyun, staring with compassion.

"I'-I'm sorry, we're late on the meeting."

The woman slowly motioned her head pertaining that she understands what I am going through. She rubbed my arms as I sobbed louder, it felt that I was a child again wanting someone to hold.

"Cry it all Lisa, I am here. And I will always be listening."

Later that evening before I was decided to straightly go my way, Dahyun convinced me in order to put clarity in my thoughts that I should try looking for Jennie's actions.

Now it would begin as I stay inside the vehicle away from sight but with clear vision of the hospital, I was waiting if she would come out and where she would possibly go.

I am sorry Jennie, but I think I am ready to know.