Love Me Again

25

"What? Aren't you satisfied? 30% of the company's share goes to you even all our conjugal properties for the past seven years."

Lisa uttered as she loosen her tie.

Minutes have passed and the atmosphere turned dense making the attorney to excuse himself.

"Ms. Manoban, Ms. Kim, I'll take my leave. You can ring my phone at any day to process your divorce papers after coming to terms."

Mr. Beckham bowed to the CEO and left abruptly.

"Jennie speak up, I don't have time for this I still have meeting to attend outside."

Lisa impatiently tapped the metal pen in front of Jennie's face. A few more second after the gesture, Jennie could not stop her eyes from watering.

After listening from all these, it makes her heart hurt that even at the very end Lisa was giving her the best, the most of advantage.

But she wasn't here for money, she was here to take more valuable than that.

"Fine, I think you're still unsatisfied with that condition. And I think you're right. In order to start a family again, you need more. Of course there is a possibility Kyler won't be the only child you are going to raise with him. Your family will only tend to get bigger. So from 30%, I am willing to raise it to 40%. What do you think? Fair enough?"

Lisa smiled attempting to hide bitterness from her tone. She was about to call the attorney back to revise the papers when Jennie picked the phone away from her hand and harshly threw it on the wall.

The screen shattered and the picture on its front became unrecognisable.

Lisa laughed at the realization, as if mocking herself. She forgot to replace her wallpaper. It was Jennie on her white robe, the day she graduated from med school.

That night she proposed and they were engaged.

"I-I don't need your money! I don't need anything from you and I would never need any family from anyone but you! Lisa, I love you. I never loved anyone except you from the time we have been together, we got married and had our first child!"

Jennie sobbed as she continued.

"It has always been you and nobody else, please...please believe me."

And Lisa wanted to believe. She just wanted to forget everything she saw or ever heard. She wanted to tell how much she missed her, that no other woman could replace the hole she bore deep in her heart.

But the hole was so deep, the kind that made it hard to search. Where is the love in all these things? Where exactly does she draw the line from madness and anger and hurt?

"I wish that was true, Jen. For how many nights I have desperately waited. Did you know there were times I was really at the edge and then you will come home and the next morning, you will kiss me. And I always gave you a chance, and I have always believed."

Lisa chuckled on her seat and looked up attempting to stop any tears from falling.

She have to be strong, she doesn't have a choice at this point.

To die or to let go?

Jennie see through her wife. Lisa might look stoic on the outside, but the reddening at the corners of her eyes say otherwise.

She bit her lip as she replied.

"Then I will be selfish at the very end. Give me one more chance honey. Just this very last, I promise not to waste this. I promise to never keep you waiting in the dark again. I promise to be the first your sight will lay on to in the morning. Until I make you fall in love with me again, just, just let me love you. You don't have to love me back, I don't need a response, you don't have to keep giving any more than you already did."

Jennie begged.

Oh god. How much it took Lisa's strength to restrain from wanting to stand and keep her wasted wife on her arms. She wanted to say everything is alright, she is already forgiven.

But her mind keep on replaying and her heart burns more than she can take.

Sometimes love isn't the greatest.

"I'm so tired, Jennie. I am so tired of what we had, what we are now...

I am so tired of you abusing me."

Lisa sighed as her palms brushed through her face.

Hearing this, Jennie froze on her feet.

If there is one thing we all know, it is easy to make a person we wronged to forgive when it is only anger that keeps them from doing it so.

But when the person we love grew tired from all our scheming, it is hard to know where to begin.

In Jennie's head, distance and space is what Lisa wanted.

But she doesn't want it. After all, it is not absolute that our hearts would grow fonder in the claim of absence.

What she feared the most is when the love her wife had for her gradually lessens, soon depleting, until it is nowhere to be found.

Until that love gets redirected to someone worthy of its kind, someone as unconditional, someone as kind yet ablaze.

This thoughts knocked a lot of sense to Jennie's head. No matter what Lisa says she will not be easily swayed.

She will bring her back to their home, they will flip the frame on their bedside table once again in its proper place.

"Then this time, I don't mind you abusing me honey. Abuse what I can give. Hate me, be mad to me, don't talk to me, don't look at me. But let me stay. Let me be close to you. You don't to have to hold me nor care for me, let me give all these things to you."

"I love you Lisa, and these papers? They mean nothing."

Jennie picked the folder containing their divorce papers and did not spare any glance to any words written to it. She held all the ream of paper in one hand before ruining it all to pieces letting all these silly ideas from her wife shattered to the ground.

"And this pen?"

She swiftly took away from Lisa who was now dumbfounded from the mess caused by white sheets on the floor.

"Faber-castell? I am gonna hate this brand all my life, Lisa. You are not going to see any of its kind ever again."

Jennie feeling triumphant even with a sore and puffy eyes, she wanted to kiss her wife but knew it is too soon.

So she kissed the back of Lisa's hand with all solemness.

"If I have to quit on my job and be here everyday to seek your forgiveness and I don't care honestly for how long, then I will."

With that, Jennie left the conference room still with the CEO unable to recuperate from the sudden turn of events.

After a while, Lisa can only sigh and let things be.

She did not marry a stubborn woman for nothing.

Right now, she won't force anything. She is gonna love herself fully and not give into things so easily.

And if she finds it inside her that she already have fallen out of love, she would willingly let go.

Or if she finds love from another, she is willing to try.

After all, she's just human. There isn't really much left to do. She is not exactly the type of person who would choose to escape abroad like all those blind sided stories and leave things behind.

She will face it head on until it run its course.

This time all for herself, no more always for her.