A Thousand Miles And Poles Apart

missing bits and pieces from the pages that you took

You were standing at the window you had once seen your first glimpse of Earth from, where you had first met Druig.

"I'm Y/N."

"Druig."

The Earth loomed below you, your ship cloaked from their sight. It was a world you had saved, at the cost of a million more planets, billions of lives. You had done it because you thought the humans didn't deserve to die for the Celestials' plans. You had done it because you'd lived on that planet for 7000 years. It was the only home you'd ever known, the only home you could remember. You'd done it because you'd seen the atrocity you'd participated in unknowingly through the Mahd Wr'ry and you'd had enough of the Celestials' 'greater good'.

And yet, when you thought Druig was dead, when you thought you'd see him on the next planet, you had hesitated. You had wondered if you should let Ikaris stop you, if you could let the world burn just for Druig. A part of you knew you would have done it. You would have let it happen if Phastos and Makkari hadn't convinced you that it wasn't what Druig would have wanted. Even if it meant you'd never see him again, you had known they were right.

Here you were, ready to give up everything for this world again. Ready to die defending it. But this time, Druig was still here. He was right in front of you. And yet, he had never felt this far away. Your heart ached as you longed for his touch, for him to whisk you away to your room and leave the others behind to hide away in your solitude together. But he didn't feel it. He had made you believe he would love you in any lifetime. He had made you believe you could find each other again and everything would be okay. But it wasn't. You'd risked them all, for him. Your whole family could be destroyed because Druig didn't remember you, and you didn't know how to bring his memories back.

"I thought I'd find you here," Sersei walked over to you.

"I'm sorry I walked out," you said. It wasn't exactly Sersei's leadership that had led you to storm out, though you were sure that was how it looked. To be honest, Sersei was a good leader. She was honest and fair, and did what was right. The problem was none of you knew what to do right now. "I just needed a minute."

"I saw Druig's look towards you," she said. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about," you said. What was there to say? Druig didn't love you as he was now. And if you didn't get his memories, he may never love you again. There weren't any words to describe what you were feeling.

"I don't think that's true," she said, putting her hand on your shoulder. "Tell me."

You sighed, looking at her. "When Ikaris came back, when he betrayed us, when you had to let him go, did you still love him?"

She was quiet for a moment, looking down at the Earth. "I think a part of me will always love him," she said. "We were in love for thousands of years. That doesn't go away. But it was easier for me, letting him go. I hadn't seen him in centuries at that point. I'd moved on with my life to an extent. I had Dane and I love him too." She looked over at you. "It's different for you. You saw Druig a few weeks ago, and he loved you still. And he isn't really gone."

"But he is," you said softly. "I look into his eyes and I see a stranger, and yet I love him with every fiber in my body. He's standing in front of me, but it's not Druig. And I don't know how to get him back. I don't even know if we can." You felt tears come to your eyes as the emotions finally came to the surface, no longer able to stay hidden in your heart. "When I was Sofia, when I didn't remember any of you, and Ajak had me hidden away, I was dreaming of him. I was painting his face long before I saw it. Subconsciously, I remembered him. Or some part of me did. But he doesn't remember me at all. He feels he can trust me, but trust isn't love."