A book written by a middle schooler: my embarrassment that I can't part from

Caaaaaalll!

1 WEEK LATER:
I walked into the kitchen to find a huge surprise. My twin brother Cal.

He was a player, to say the least. By the time we were 13 he had 15 girlfriends including Julia, Emilie, Laura, and Abby. He had the whole Bieber flow going on and almost always wore douchy hats with things like Fallen 4 you, on them.

Wow, I thought, we really need to remember to lock our door. Some real creepers could come in, oh wait, Cal is already here.

"Hey, my twin! Here's the cheez wiz, I thought I'd stop by, my girl Julia hooked me up with the plan ticx." He came in for a fist bump.

"Cal, what are you.." he silenced me, licked his finger and looked like he was checking the wind and said, "You had sex." How did he know?!

"Whaaaaaaat? Noooooo! Meeeeeee?" "Save it sis. I can tell. And approximately," he sniffed around me, "8 days ago, you my friend, got laid. Had your muffin buttered, made love, got impaled..." "LETS STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!" I put my hand out like a stop sign, "How did you know? Was it really from the smell and wind of the room!" "Puh-lease, my girl Emilie told me." He looked disappointed at me, but how did I know! He got laid so often maybe he'd developed a super power?!

"Any way, I have something to tell you." He motioned me to come closer, I leaned in, "Tickle Fight!!!" He tackled me to the ground.

I can't stress this enough, if you try to tickle me, I will kill you. I won't regret anything, but you deserve to die. It is my kryptonite.

Cal started to tickle everywhere, my neck, my armpits, my feet, and my stomach. I rolled over on in and pinned him to the ground. I punched a few times in the face to make sure he understood and I yelled, "Do NOT tickle me."

I climbed off of him and turned face to face with Kwai Marsh Brown. "What. In. The. Hell."

"Hey! Good morning sleepy head! This is my brother Cal, we were just talking and he attacked, basically tried to kill me with his fingers. And I hit him repeatedly."

Cal looked like he was feeling the wind again and smiled at Kwai, "My man! Great job laying this beautiful thang!" He put he fist out for a bump.

"Dude, she's your sister!" Kwai said with disgust. "Tomato, Tamato." He said and walked to the bedrooms.

"My girls! Who wants a piece of the Cal action" he yelled and I rolled my eyes.