Sleepless nights I spent waiting
In the depths of despair
Never daring to come close enough
To look in your chair
Cos something tells me everytime
That I come near
That you would be in there
Watching the football, holding a beer
So instead
My eyes lay
On the wide open skies
I dream of your smell
& your laugh reserved only for you and for I
I lived through the sadness, grief and denial
I never stopped believing
That I would again see your smile
Recently I've been thinking
&I know that it's true
That I'm destined to be alone and never with you
Cos everyone I love
I somehow seem to hurt
& I don't know why
Somedays I feel as useless as dirt
But every time
I come near
I make myself turn around
Before
I can come close enough
To
Turn the handle, open the door
You are not in there
I have to admit
I have to stop pretending
God I'm a mess, my grief seems never ending
God I'm insane
But I want you here
To be able to hold you, to see your face crystal clear
I need you to be here
Cos
I'm falling apart
And
If I'm honest
Without you
I suck
There are mornings where I can barely get out of bed
I can't do anything at all these days
Except long
Long for a dream that can never come true
No matter how real it may seem
And God I know that this is stupid
But I still think of those days
That we skipped class to smoke
Underneath
The suns' rays
But I guess there's
No better
Time
Than right now
Cos Im such a coward
I've waited till now
To say three f*king words
YOU ARE READING
Yours Truly
PoetryCHARACTERS ARE CREATED BY THE DUFFER BROTHERS AND NETFLIX AND I DO NOT CLAIM TO OWN ANY OF THESE CHARCTERS A Jopper fanfic/fanpoetry set after the events of Stranger Things Season 3. It is a series of letters/poems that Joyce writes to Hopper in his...
