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(chapter one, blood adorns her.)
trigger warning! thoughts of suicide & attempted suicide.
GROWING UP BEFORE the outbreak, Sadie never thought much about dying. The feeling of her life slipping away as blood drips from the cuts on her wrists, she's thought about it a lot after the outbreak — wishing for the nightmare to end with just a simple pull of her hand holding the knife to her neck.
Sure, she's thought about suicide before the outbreak. She's actually thought about it too much after her father's passing, so much to the point of her mother putting her in therapy. It didn't help as she still thinks about it — the constant need to see her blood splatter to the floor, she wonders what it would feel like to die. She knows it wouldn't be painless, her therapist had even told her that to coax her out of doing it, though his words didn't work as she tried to weeks after.
Sadie remembers the devastation across her mother's face when she found her sitting in a pool of her own blood, looking up at her with a droopy smile from the blood loss — she wasn't happy when she cut her wrists, but she still smiled all the same hoping it'll ease her mother's worries. Sadie didn't regret doing it, she'd simply wished she was faster so that she wouldn't have been saved — if she was dead, she'd never have to witness the brutal new world put before her.
She was unfeeling, even now as she watches as Madison—her mother—and her sister, Alicia, scour over the room they were taken to. They were taken prisoner after they had reached the border, Travis—her mother's boyfriend—is nowhere to be seen after they were placed in this office.
"Anything?" Alicia asks, rifling through a desk's drawers, she turns to Madison, who's rummaging through filing cabinets. "No," She shakes her head, blonde hair swaying with her movement.
With blank blue eyes, Sadie looks up at the ceiling, noticing the tiles above her head. She points up, "What about the ceiling?" She asks, voice soft but still catching the attention of the other women in the locked room.
Madison looks up at where Sadie points and nods, "Good eye, Sadie." She grabs one of the office chairs in the room, the sound of the wooden supports screeching makes Sadie grimace. Madison lifts one of the tiles, peeking her head through only to find nothing but darkness in the small space. "Anything?" Alicia questions and her mother shakes her head, "There's nothing."
Sadie slumps on the couch behind Alicia, who mumbles, "We shouldn't have come here." Her eyes dart back and forth between the teen and Madison, "We had to."
Alicia scoffs, "No, we shouldn't be looking for him," Madison steps past her, not glancing for a moment as the teen continues, "Chasing him," Alicia sighs, "It always blows back on us–"
