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( chapter twelve, trouble in paradise.)
IT'S BEEN A day since Madison and the rest of the group left for the dam. El Bazar was peaceful, for the most part, disregarding the fact Nick has gone back to his usual ways. Day drinking and the like. Sadie couldn't do much about it, and she didn't want to neither — she wasn't becoming her mother, constantly coddling someone who doesn't want help, it wasn't good for her and it wasn't good for. . . she stops, blue eyes flitting down to her stomach, like she always does when she thinks of him — him. She thinks it's a boy, but without any medical equipment lying about, she just had to imagine that it might be a boy.
Sadie wants him to look like Troy, brown hair, blue eyes. She wondered if he'll look more like her or Troy, but she'd have to wait and see, if she survives the birth. She remembers when she was around five years old, clutching her father's hand as they sit in the waiting room of the hospital — waiting for someone to come get them, smile at them, say that Madison is alright and the baby has been born. Sadie recalls the tired look on her mother's face, her body slumped against the hospital bed as she cradles a baby Alicia in her arms.
She wants to smile down at her baby like her mother did, all proud of the child she created. But, fear catapults into her, taking over as she thinks about the pain, the potential of the umbilical cord wrapping around the baby's tiny neck. Sadie didn't want that, not for anything. She didn't her baby to die and she didn't want to die either. . . wait, she didn't want to die? Sadie's brows scrunch together, wringing her hands together as she mulls over her thoughts.
