Fifty Shades of EraserMic (Shades of EraserMic #1)

Kitten

Shouta didn't like taking unnecessary risks. Nor did he like to make large changes without the proper planning or timeline for the change to take place but here he was staring at his laptop screen. His palm pressed against his mouth, his face hot as he stared at the image on the screen, his brows tugged close together as he took a deep breath to soothe the airy, fluttering sensation in his stomach. It had been six days since they had done anything, something he was both grateful for and a bit disappointed about, but the break was much needed.

Hizashi was sore that following Thursday and Shouta had struggled himself with his own soreness, struggled to hide any sort of waddle he could possibly make and tried not to fidget too much when that soreness ramped up the longer, he stood still. Hizashi couldn't even sit without groaning, rubbing his hips, or grunting when he would use his desk in the staff room to push himself upwards and each time, he saw this little display he felt a stab of pity.

Of regret. It was so noticeable, both of their conditions, that Yagi had tried approaching him and asking if all was alright which he brushed away quickly with such a shallow reassurance that even he wanted to cringe at it. But six days was a long time. Sure, they still twisted together in bed and they still had their make out sessions, but the blonde would stop it before anything more could take place with a reassurance that their challenge didn't need to back-to-back every single day.

That they had all the time in the world to explore everything. It had taken three of those six days just for the soreness to go away, for him to feel confident by the fifth day that he was back to normal. And it just so happened that on that fifth day Hizashi had come to him with the list in hand handing it to him with a smile. Saying it was his turn to add some kinks to it if he wanted and he could still recall the burn of his blush.

He stared at that list for hours when they got home, unsure of what to put on it, until Hizashi had taken it from him with a look of concern to his face before cheerfully saying he didn't want Shouta to burn his brain by grinding the mental gears too hard. That it

was okay if he didn't have anything in the moment to put on it, but he felt a flash of shame. Did he really not know what to put on it? Didn't he know himself well enough to know what he wants? He knew it was just his shyness, his embarrassment, that was keeping him from adding a single thing to that list because he would never judge Hizashi for his interests, not in a million years. He just didn't think the same for himself.

Of course, Hizashi never shamed him and even encouraged him to explore his kinky little mind more, coaxing him to be more open about it, but it just wasn't in Shouta's nature to do that. The thought of that list with Hizashi's scrawling writing on it sitting in their bedroom drawer, waiting for Shouta to write his own ideas down, had him looking back at the computer screen. The delivery time had updated, the little map Amazon provided said it was four stops away, and he felt his heart stumble over its beats in his chest as his stomach dropped anxiously.

Hizashi would be home from shopping soon, even texted him to say he was running a little behind because of the lines at the store and not to mention whatever traffic he was going to face leaving the store to get back home would slow him down. He was going to do this. He knew he shouldn't just spring it on Hizashi, knew he should come to him and say it the way the blonde had, but he knew if he even gave himself a second to think about what he wanted to do, what he was going to do then he'd chicken out.

He'd stop himself, crush the idea before it could even take place, and he didn't want to do that. He knew Hizashi would never say it, never even think it, but he couldn't help but feel that the blonde was disappointed in him. Here he was, suggesting two things already and Shouta had yet to suggest one thing yet. The list was half filled with all of the blonde's ideas for them to try and he didn't have a single one written down yet.