I haven't slept properly for even when I was 7, I haven't got alot of sleep, and I always miss school lessons because of my problems and situations, I'm really tired...
I sometimes wash laundrys by myself or clean the house myself since my mom is always busy and my brothers are always outside or they're always on they're phones
My mom doesn't allow my brothers or even bother to let them clean the house instead, her only reason because of that was because I was a "girl".....
- ......
I have trypophobia, which means I'm scared of being alone, it just reminds me of something from the past of being alone that just gave me the sad vibes but I don't wanna come out as depressed, feels lonely, and even somewhat overwhelming. Anxiety for no reason also?..
I have another issue, everytime I stand up after a long break, my eyes blurs, I know I'm not the only one but every time I do that, I lost balance of my own body and I fall down on random items or people... I even broke a goddamn trashcan when I falled down, even got yelled at my mom. I even went far as broking a mirror.😅
- .......
Friend issues, trust issues, attachment issues, I have alot of... Problem with having friend... I don't think I can even explain... And trust issues?.... and attachment issues, yep, I'm addicted to hugs alot.... And Im always slightly a inch away from my friends... I don't even care if they pretend I'm they're friends or even went as far as just using me, I'll just forgive them in the end anyways.
- ...........
Deleting this part for purposes, sorry
Besides
My only goal is to make someone feel like they're special, not anything else, I always feel special whenever someone decides to be my friend anyways. I don't know anything about manipulation or being a backstabber but I got blamed as one., I don't even know how to resist someone's begging when they're crying to me to do something.😅 negative thoughts is what I somewhat despised, but I let it out by doing this so-called "diary's" to make myself relieved, even if you can see this right now, it isn't the most personal, and I think I would never post it.
Yea.... Sometimes I don't understand myself, people calls me dumb by it but I can't blame them, I mean... I am?-😅😋
___________________________________________________
411 words..^^
YOU ARE READING
overdramatic?.....
De Todojust a vent to let myself down, I recommend not to actually read this since it's personal but some of this are mostly personal... this is only to vent so I can feel relived or so. thanks..
