overdramatic?.....

beauty standards.

Being beautiful is important?...? I thought it didn't matter at all... But my friend said it did. Because apparently people only falls in love with the handsomest person in class.. That what my friend said..

Well... I didn't much relate to it... But I did like alot of people... I'm not saying they're ugly but I'm saying that they're all beautiful and handsome in a way but they're appearance isn't really something I would look up on...

I was starting to realize.... It's kinda unfair... Tiktok And people's opinion is just weird...

People having glow ups and makeup's..... The problem about me is... I don't think I even have ever done all of those girly things...

I never weared make up, I never weared beautiful dresses, j never weared skin products, I never even lact like a girl, yet I need too....  But i don't want too?...

I've always had this jealousy after my other friend's keep mention in about how "beautiful" or "perfect" Samantha is. She's my friend and also my classmates, she sometimes update if she gets "bitches" or something like how many people likes her and I'm just jealous...

I don't even know how she knows that other people like her but just assumes they like her because of how they act towards her... Guess they know how to acknowledge people closely then.

She's perfect, she's beautiful, she's lovable, she's approachable?, she's everything I should be insecure about. And yes I am

I'm jealous of her and it feels wrong. She's my friend so why would I even feel jealous of her? It feels selfish. Like I wanted something I never had.

She can do whatever she wants. She can buy makeup, she can have a birthday party, she can get money without even asking, she can do products without permission, she can even more most of the things I can't do.

She's just... A starlight. While I'm a moon giving her shine... I'm just another background character to make her the center of the attention by acting like im a complete mistake in her shadows.

No wonder people sometimes say they feel bad for Sam for being around me. Even my mom says it, my whole family does, I'm weird, I'm the complete opposite of Samantha.

I want affections, I wanted hugs, I wanted physical and mental  affections, I just wanted it and needed it.

I can't help myself from doing it. I was never an attention sweet center anyway. I was just some random dumb girl making mistakes randomly and some other people will get mad at me immediately

I don't even understand why they always get mad at me often then others when I do a mistake but when they do they just feel calm about it and just says "lol" it's unfair, ugh....

I know I'm not the only one but, I love oversized clothes and short shorts, it's my style... And I like it.... It does matches me at home but I can't wear it at school since dress codes because of short shorts, bummer and a bit disappointing

My fashion style is liking Korean clothes but instead I can't get those and just get my fashion sense trash because I don't have a choice because I don't wanna wear my mom's suggestion on clothes... It's too girly.... Not fitting for me exactly...

Everyone of them is literally the reason why I wear masks for the rest of my life when I'm going out. Insecuritys.

Also,
you don't have to be insecure
because of this,

God imaged you and made you,
So you'll always be beautiful in God's vision.