overdramatic?.....

i'll make you proud.. soon.

Have you ever feel the need to satisfy everyone love one's in your life?..

Yea! I've felt it,
And it's still there for some reason.

Make someone proud or make someone feel loved? Yep! That's exactly my goal... Well.. I feel like I'm taking it at this point. It does make me sound like I'm trying to get attention but please don't mind it.

I've always wanted a hug, from my friends, family, mom.. Basically everyone that's apart of my life..

Doing everything they want and giving them money if they asked for it :D.

Well... Like my mom?..

Well I was a brat honestly, and a bit of a attention seeker.
I find ways to make my mom notice me
When she's ignoring me or if she's gone
Since she's almost everyday in her so called "vlogger stream". As a singer.

I was a very athletic child even when I was a only 6-7

When there wasn't school, 2020?.. Yea. I think, I started playing basketball when my older brother told me to join if I wanted, I always tell my mom everytime I made a perfect shoot or any techniques. But guess what? Yep. You guessed it, my mom just complained about me being a tomboy, not acting girlish enough.

Now... Badminton, It was the very first thing I joined, when I was 7! I was called a fast learner as I first started good when some of the teammates reached me..

My mom didn't like it as I was more busy with badminton. Since I was always the one helpful with house chores instead of my brothers or my mom, my mom often goes to work so yea...

Soccer, my second favorite, the reason why I got recommended on why I should become a runner at school... I was faster then the boy's in soccer, and I loved it❤ I still got called tomboy and other stuff but I didn't mind..

I always got scars or bruises in my feet because of it but I still didn't mind it, I was good at soccer if I could say that... My mom sometimes complain how I'm ruining my skin, she always wanted me to be prettier and I'm ruining it. Soccer is my comfort zone sometimes... Not trying to sound sad though, don't mind it!

Gymnastic, I joined it when I was grade 5, probably why I was flexible. I tortured my body- ehem😶✌ It hurts but worth it, haha, honestly my mom liked it since it was girly... But I had to leave it after grade 6 for reasons.. But i still practice gymnast at home. Very relaxing now ever since instead of hurting

Running! I was a runner I grade 6, I didn't really care if I was the fastest or not, since I won second to third place! And when I told my mom that if I won for the running competition i'd win an amount of money..

Well, unfortunately that I thought my mom was gonna be excited... She just said in tagalog but i'll translate it.. "Yea yea, later, I'm with my friends" in her live stream :D.

So I stopped caring for running. Well, you see, I really care about my mom's opinion for some reason..

My most favorite one, is Taekwondo, I always watch Taekwondo when I was 5, it was cool with how fast the kid was and how strong he is on the television screen, and I planned to be one in grade 7 or 8... Soon. Since my friend planned on joining with me.. But I didn't want to be alone so, I didn't join it yet.

Volleyball! My most favorite... I've been playing it privately from my mom everytime me and my older brother goes to church... I've been playing it for 2 years now... And I'm getting better❤.
I haven't left it yet so I'm relieve...

Well, if your getting impatient with this, I'm sorry, I'll get to the point... I'm trying to make my mom proud.. Especially someone that's apart with my life... I'll say that later...

I never received a hug from my mom before... So I'm trying my best to make her notice me? Or even hug me for once.. Like when I was a baby.

But my dad has... Even if my dad was bad... My dad was good even if my dad doesn't feed me often other then my brothers..

My dad gave me affection, and it's my favorite part. He was kind but also a pedophile with how he always look at other younger girls..

My dad was kind... To me, despite how he treats me often, he was honestly the only one that gives me affections when I needed it at home.

I still hate the police...

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And for my friends, I was a dumbass, and I know they're sometimes annoyed with it. But sometimes they tell something dumb and not one gets called dumb or insulted, just me.

Calling me racist just because I made a joke about having a shirt or dress black being emo... They even teamed up on me...

And other stuffs, but I won't complain

I'm trying to change, I'm becoming smarter if I could say that. I'm reviewing tests from grade 6 and even studying at night,

Thinking before talking...

Trying to find comforting words
If they're sad

Not caring if they insult me or offend me

Just let out a laugh incase i don't know what to say?

I kinda hate it when they expected me to not know a easy word.. They really expect me to be the most dumbest... And I won't deny it.. But it just kinda hurts.

They're even mad if I don't know something, I didn't have a good childhood okay?..

I didn't know K-pop exist back then, I didn't know they're cartoons that they watch when they were kids, I didn't have a phone or anyone to tell me those kind of things back then..

sorry sorry, I'll stop

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F

orgot to post this when a year ago, and months ago, sorry??😅