No. No no no no no. I'm trying to calm myself right now from crying.
When I just came home happy, I heard my mom saying that my middle brother tried to kill himself on a mountain far away from this city also.
My middle brother was sitting on a chair in silence. He was sleepy. He didn't go to school.
I was more then concern. Like. WTF?.
Literally every one of my family tried to kill themselves or even leave the family. DO THEY REALLY THINK I COULD HANDLE MYSELF AND THIS HOUSE ALL FOR MY SELF? I KNOW I'VE BEEN RESPONSIBLE FOR CHORES AND EVERYTHING IN THIS FAMILY FOR ALMOST WHEN I WAS EVEN BORN.
my mom. Literally tried to kill herself EVERYTIME she was drunk. WITH DROWING HERSELF OR EVEN STABBING HERSELF.
my older brother TRIED to leave the house PERMANENTLY away from this family. AND EVEN TRIED TO ACTUALLY LIVE IN ANOTHER CITY.
AND WHO WAS FINDING MY OLDER BROTHER? ME. WHO WAS DRAGGING MY MOM AWAY FROM KILLING HERSELF? ME.
I'M TRYING TO BE POSITIVE AS I CAN.
BUT JESUS. I'M TIRED ALSO.
I'M TOO STRESSED UP WITH THIS.
I WANTED TO BE MORE THEN POSITIVE
AND EVEN WISH FOR A HAPPY OR EVEN NORMAL FAMILY.
BUT DAMN. YEA. JUST TRY AND MAKE ME FAMILYLESS.
YEA, I'M GONNA BE LEFT ALONE ON MY SELF
A 12 YEAR OLD BEING ALONE WITH NO ONE TO TAKE CARE OF
I CAN DEFINITELY HANDLE MYSELF.
OF COURSE NOT.
I WANT TO BE MORE HEN POSITIVE. THATS MY GOAL. PLEASE JESUS.
I wanna be the happiest person alive in this world.
Damnit.
YOU ARE READING
overdramatic?.....
Randomjust a vent to let myself down, I recommend not to actually read this since it's personal but some of this are mostly personal... this is only to vent so I can feel relived or so. thanks..
