Soulmate Au (tyde)

1

"Hello class." yawned a very tired Mr. Garrison, "As some of you can already guess... we have an exciting day ahead of us!"

Clyde already knew what Mr. Garrison was gonna say next. He was looking forward to this day ever since he was in preschool. He dreamed about this day! The day he would finally—

"We are going to take an exam on dividing fractions!" Mr. Garrison enthusiastically said. A few kids booed in the back. "Oh, relax your buttholes! I am just joking with you guys! You act like you got a dick stick in your... nevermind. Anyways, we are going to be taking that gay ass soulmate juice."

That 'gay ass soulmate juice' was what Clyde was excited about. It's actual name was really long, so most people just called it 'the soulmate drink'. Basically, when kids reached age 10 they could drink this special juice that told them in their head who their soulmate was, where they were currently, and if  they had met their soulmate before.

"Okay, I got this box full of this gay ass soulmate juice, when I call your name come up and take one."

Gosh, Clyde was so fucking excited. He wondered who his soulmate was gonna be. Hopefully someone hot, like Bebe or maybe Wendy? Nah, she wasn't really that cool. But Bebe was! Bebe was hot too! Clyde had a crush on Bebe for awhile now but never had the guts to ask her out. So if he could just drink this juice and be her soulmate... they would HAVE to start dating! It was a foolproof plan!

"Okay," Mr. Garrison began, "Stan Marsh."

Stan Marsh grabbed the drink out of Mr. Garrison's hands and walked back over to his desk. He didn't wait for the rest of class and chugged his drink. He really shouldn't have done that, because he passed out twenty seconds after. Clyde shuddered, these drinks were hardcore.

"Eric Cartman"

Kids snickered as Eric Cartman walked up and grabbed his drink. Whoever was Eric Cartman's soulmate would NOT be a lucky person. Clyde prayed to the jesus christ that literally lived down the street from him that his soulmate wasn't Eric fucking Cartman. Or anyone dumb. Or a guy, cus his Dad would be pissed!!!

"Nichole Daniels"

Clyde wondered what it would be like being Nichole's soulmate. The two weren't close, but Nichole was hot. So Clyde wouldn't be upset if Nichole ended up being his soulmate. There was a lot more names being called as Clyde definitely didn't patiently wait for his turn.

"Bebe Whatever-your-last-name-is"

Clyde watched as the girl he had the hots for gracefully walked up to the teacher and grabbed her drink. Something to mention about the drinks— they make your body very cold. Something to do with your atoms not moving as much or some shit. Luckily it doesn't last for a very long time, only two hours, but because of that most of the girls already had blankets and pillows by their desk so they could take a nap while the drink did their thing.

He could already imagine what life would be like being Bebe's soulmate. The two would fall in love, date, get married, have some kids maybe, and definitely have a few dogs. Oh and, Clyde would make sure to keep the toilet seat down. He was NOT going through what he had to deal with when his Mom died. His Dad still gives him shit about it whenever they get into arguments

And the finally...

"Clyde Donovan"

"Finally!" Clyde jumped out of his seat and ran up there, bumping into some desks as kids snickered. He quickly snatched it out of Mr. Garrison's hands and rushed back to his seat. He opened the cap and looked inside. The drink was of a purplish blue fluid that had the consistency of milk. It looked somewhat tasty, but smelled like fish.

Clyde gagged and took a few good sips of his drink.

It doesn't take that much work for the drink to start working. Suddenly Clyde felt his body grow stiff and cold. He gasped for air and then his vision blurred and the next thing he saw he was in a small kitchenette with a small man sitting across from him.

He was hallucinating.

The kitchenette was small and welcoming, with a warm color pallet Clyde felt as if he had been here before. Maybe he always had been there? The small man opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Clyde was suddenly transported to a small white room with nothing in it.

Clyde remained on the floor sitting, unable to move. He looked around and saw a small piece of paper on the ground. He tried to move his head closer to it to see what it was saying, but to no avail. He suddenly heard shuffling and turned his head to see four small men by him. They didn't speak, but instead grabbed piece of paper and shoved it in his face.

Suddenly Clyde's body moved on its own and it grabbed the piece of paper. Clyde looked back up and saw that all four men were gone. He was alone. He looked back down at the piece of paper and read it.

'Turn this piece of paper around to see the name of your soulmate."

Clyde tried to move his hands to turn the piece of paper around but he couldn't. He sat there for a good minute before his hands finally turned it around. He rushed to read the words on the other side and...

.

.

.

Holy Shit.

His soulmate was Tolkien Black.