Homestuck crack ships

Johnkri

"So vwe'll sea ya later kanny."
"YEAH, SO DONT DESTROY THE HOUSE AND DONT CULL EGBERT." Wait, they're g9ing t9 6e leaving y9u here with s9me9ne else? They hadn't menti9ned this 6ef9re!
"Ah, Karkat, wait a m9ment-" it seems that they're already g9ne. Well then. Wh9 is it that is supp9sedly here? All y9u heard was a last name.
"Hell9?" Y9u call, walking thr9ugh the hive.
"Eg6ert?" Y9u finally call the name y9u had heard in h9pes 9f them answering.
"Karkat?" Y9u hear a v9ice call fr9m 9ne 9f the r99ms. Apr9aching the r99m, y9u take a deep 6reath.
"I'm afraid karkat and Cr9nus have left, I'm kankri-" y9u trail 9ff, l99king at the human 69y 6ef9re y9u. He seems t9 6e heavily 6andaged; 6arely a6le t9 sit up. He is extremely pale, even f9r a human.
"G99dness!" Y9u exclaim, rushing 9ver t9 the human's 6edside. He is in very p99r health and d9esn't seem t9 have 6een adequately cared f9r. Getting y9ur medical kit fr9m y9ur syladex, y9u kneel next t9 the human 6ed and 6egin t9 gently unwrap his 6andages.
"I'm kankri." Y9u intr9duce y9urseld as y9u peel away the last 9f his p99rly wrapped 6andaging.
"John." He says weakly, l99king d9wn at y9ur hands intently.
"I'm rewrapping y9ur injuries." Y9u explain, examining the w9unds. They're 6right red and l99k very painful.
"Did my br9ther clean these 9ut at all?" J9hn shakes his head, l99king d9wn at the infected w9unds. Y9u sigh and gra6 s9me disinfesting 9intment, squirting s9me 9n y9ur finger 6ef9re smearing it 9n the b9y's injuries. He winces, cl9sing his eyes.
"I ap9l9gise, I sh9uls have warned y9u that this w9uld 6e rather painful." He shakes his head, opening his eyes and giving y9u a pained smile.
"There, I'm d9ne. D9es that feel 6etter?" Y9u inquire, taking 9ut s9me medical tape and gauze.
"Yeah. It does. Thank you." Y9u l99k up, giving j9hn a surprised expressi9n. N9 9ne has ever thanked y9u f9r helping them like this. In fact, many just tell y9u t9, '**** 9ff'.
"Y9u are very welc9me J9hn." Y9u smile, wrapping his w9unds 6ack up.
"So where did-"
"Sh99sh. Y9u sh9uld get s9me rest."
"Oh, but-"
"It's alright. I'll stay here with y9u. Get s9me sleep." Y9u insist, climbing int9 the human 6ed with J9hn.
"Sh99sh."