getaway car - Taylor Swift

The decision is made

Yesterday, after reading those messages I had a sudden fit of rage and ended up storming out of the hospital without even warning Alec, who had not yet returned. All I wanted was to go unnoticed at that moment, but unfortunately I couldn't, Alec ran into me at the door, with a bag of donuts and two Starbucks coffees in his hand.

"hey, where are you going in such a hurry? You almost made me spill my coffee! Here, it's for you, you haven't eaten hardly anything today" - he says handing me one of the coffee cups and a donut.

"Thank you" - I replied with a genuine smile - he was always there, ready to try to make a gesture that would brighten my day.

"Tell me why you ran out of there? You looked worried and... Sad?"

"it's nothing, never mind"

"If you don't want to talk, that's fine, but I can tell when something is wrong with you. You're worried about sam is that it? The doctor has already said that she has a chance of getting better".

"no, it's not her" I mean it is...." - I wanted to talk to him about my suspicions that what sam and max had wasn't just a one-night stand but I hesitated, I didn't want to have to talk about it without being sure what was really going on and that would only make my doubts even more real.

After a few minutes of silence, I decided to talk. We sat on the edge of a wall and he passed me a cigarette.

"You know, I was never suspicious of Sam, our relationship was perfect, I only had eyes for her and she treated me like a queen, but in the last month, she became more distant and I had no idea why, until Max told us about what they did and I started to question everything".

"but you know it was just this one time because of the drugs.... You're not suggesting they're having an affair are you?"

"alec, I saw the messages they were exchanging, it all started a lot longer ago than I thought"

"what messages? What do you mean, when did you see them?"

"now, Alec. I don't usually control what she does, or go through her belongings but I had to"

"and you're sure they weren't just talking as friends?"

"damn it alec! He's her fucking ex! Ex-boyfriends never stay friends unless they still have an interest in each other."

"can you show them to me?"

I say yes and pull her cell phone out of my bag. Alec reads and re-reads the messages I'd just turned over.

Compliments, sexual teasing, everything. There was no way I could think this was just "a friendship".

"i'm shocked" he says - "if you break up i'll stop believing in love once and for all".

"are you stupid!? You will still find the right man for you.... But yeah, if that's what you want to know, I don't think I can forgive her for cheating on me for a whole month. How could she suddenly ruin 3 years of our life like that? The 3 happiest years of my life were a fucking lie alec" I say with tears running down my face .

"my heart wants to be with her but I know it's wrong to stay in a relationship out of need. The decision is made, I will continue to visit her in the hospital, but as soon as she recovers, we will end things between us."

again there is silence. There was nothing more to say. My love story was ending before my eyes, with the person I thought was the love of my life in a hospital bed, and I could do absolutely nothing to change what was happening.

Alec hugs me and takes me home. He even asked me if I wanted him to stay at my house to keep me company but I told him no. I needed to be alone. I took a shower, put on my pajamas and went to bed, even though it was still 6 pm. I didn't eat dinner, cried myself to sleep and cursed all the happy and perfect couples out there.