getaway car - Taylor Swift

maybe it was my fault

I took the flight to New York at 6am the next day. I stopped by alec's house before heading to the airport. Even though we had spent the whole day together the day before, I had to say goodbye one last time. He had been accepted early into Harvard and I wouldn't see him again for another year.

"Take care of yourself, you hear me ? And call me every day" - he said hugging me.

"Of course I will, don't worry"

My mother also cried a lot when she said goodbye to me. At the airport, she made sure to give me a whole moral lesson about being careful with spending money and going out at night. After telling her fifty times that i could take care of myself and that I would be fine, she let me go and made me promise to call as soon as I got to my cousin's house.

The flight lasted about 10 hours as it was a transatlantic flight. I slept for most of the trip.

Upon arrival at the airport my aunt Lizzie and my cousin Kate came to greet me with hugs and took my bags to the car.

During the drive home my cousin kept talking about how I would love university and that she would take me to see all the highlights of the city before the summer was over.

I look out the window. I don't want to do any of those things right now, and I don't want to talk to anyone, but all I do is thank her with a slight smile and then I'm am again immersed in my thoughts.

It seemed impossible to have left so much behind but, I would get used to it.

As soon as we arrived, my cousin told me that I would share a room with her and my aunt gave me towels so I could take a shower. I didn't feel like sharing a room with a cousin I barely know, but I had no choice.

We would get used to each other's presence for sure.

So I did, took a shower and changed my clothes. Under the water, the memories of the previous days came back to haunt my thoughts. The drugs, the fight with max, sam, the funeral.

I still couldn't believe how many bad things had happened. We hadn't even enjoyed prom.

After getting dressed I went downstairs to see if my aunt needed help in the kitchen. We ate dinner, and then I went up to my room, just texted my mom that I got home okay, and went to bed.

I was about to fall asleep because of the tiredness of the long trip when my cousin came in. I almost forgot that from now on, I wouldn't be sleeping alone.

"Um, hi, we haven't talked much, but I hope you know you're welcome here and I hope we'll be friends too. I can take you to some places so you can get to know NY if you want. We can go to Central Park tomorrow morning ".

"Kate that's very nice of you, but don't worry about me. Don't get me wrong, but I just wanna be alone right now"

"it's okay, when you feel ready to go out and maybe socialize a little, i can take you to meet my friends".

"thank you. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to sleep bc im tired from the long flight".

And with that, i just turned of the lights and turned to the other side on the bed.

The problem is that, instead of falling asleep immediately, even though I was really tired, I couldn't. It took me half an hour to actually sleep without my mind racing constantly echoing I abandoned my friends, and that it was my fault sam died - "maybe if I had been more insistent that she talk to me and tell me where she was, she wouldn't be dead now."

hi swifties :) I really hope you're liking the story. Some people in the comments were a bit confused by the fact I haven't mentioned taylor yet. She's going to be a character a few chapters ahead i promise. Don't forget to vote please, and leave a comment if you have anything to say.