B.Q. Book One: Princess of the Blacks

Chapter 3: Ancient and Most Deviant House of Black

This chapter was my favorite to write so far. There isn't much darkness in this chapter; in fact, it's actually rather light-hearted. Some sex talk ahead, and I can almost guarantee you will never look at Sirius and Tonks the same way again.

Summary: Did Harry ever use his money to buy a wardrobe that properly fit? If not, I don't own the Harry Potter franchise; it belongs to J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Press, Warner Bros., and whoever else she sold the rights to.
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"Jen? What are you doing here?"

Sirius turned his attention first to her, then Jen. "Wait, you two know each other?"

"Of course," Jen replied immediately, walking over to greet her with a kiss on both cheeks. "She was my favorite client."
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"NARCISSA ADARA BLACK! WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME DID YOU DO!"

"It's Malfoy, has been for twenty-one years," she squeaked. Never had Sirius's voice sounded more like that of her father, Cygnus, or Great-Uncle Arcturus, the previous Lord Black. The fact that her mother had shouted those exact words more times than she cared to remember didn't help matters.

"Sirius! There is no cause for shouting," Jen chastised him. "It is perfectly fine."

Andromeda glanced between the three of them before laying a hand on her daughter's arm. "We're missing something, aren't we?"

Sirius turned away, obviously uncomfortable, and she gave Jen a begging look.

The girl sighed and explained, "I moved here yesterday; before that, I spent seven years working in a brothel. That's where Cissy knows me from."

Narcissa's plea morphed into a glare. That was not how she would have broken the news to her sister and niece.

"What?! Are you telling me that my aunt is a paedophile? That's just sick!"

Andromeda gave her daughter a indecipherable look before turning to her. "While I agree with her, I can't say that I'm really surprised. Father, Bellatrix, and I all knew something was... different about you, and certain rumors didn't help matters any." A blush covered Narcissa's cheeks at the reminder of that particular youthful indiscretion. "As for you, Dora, considering your own proclivities, you might want to keep any judgements to yourself." When the purple-haired young woman made an inarticulate sound, she continued, "Honey, you change gender literally mid-coitus. While not as bad as your aunt, it is still highly disturbing."

    Dora sputtered. "How would you even know about that?"

"And that's something I'm not surprised to hear, Andi," Sirius said with a chuckle. "After all, how many times did Uncle Cygnus and Aunt Druella punish you for spying on them? I think most children prefer not to know what their parents get up to in the bedroom."

Now it was Andromeda who bristled. "I don't have to take that from a man who spent his late teens shagging every bitch dog in Hogsmeade! Did you ever discover which puppies were yours?"

"I was Padfoot at the time! It was fine!"

"You were still a wizard, so no, it wasn't!"

A strangled snort dragged their attention to the corner where Jen was leaning against the wall, her face flushed and her hands clutching her sides as she lost the fight to contain her laughter. "Please, no more!" After a few more moments, she finally managed to choke out, "Is there anyone in this house who isn't a deviant?"

"So says the whore," Dora lashed out. Apparently, she had not enjoyed her mother parading around her own sexual quirks for all the family to see, not that Narcissa could blame her.