Pies and Knives

Making pies while Fluttershy whines!

       We both were hip to hip in the kitchen, and I handled the dirtier work while Fluttershy prepared the oven. I cut the thin dough into lengthy strips that I overlapped to create the top of the pie. I laid it over the apple slice interior and rinsed my hands off. Fluttershy placed the creation in and we sat down while we waited for it to crisp up. She tapped her fork on the table and I twiddled my thumbs around. "Are we going to kill anyone else?" she asked. I looked up at her. "I don't plan on it. Of course, if things take a turn, you never know." This was not a comforting response for her, and she went back to nervously tapping her fork on the table. I tried to take the tension off her, reassuring her that "Ya haven't done anything bad. I don't know why you're so bothered by it."

       This made her angry, and she shoved herself up from her seat. "It's just as bad that I know what you're doing, and I'm not telling anyone about it! I'm just as responsible for all this as you are!" She plops back down. Can she not relax for one second? The oven beeps and I walk over to get the pie out. The beautiful scent of crispy fried apple baked beneath the fluffy, flakey, buttery crust that topped it. I practically got lifted into Heaven by the sweet scent. I set it down and prepared a plate for both of us. "Now, this is what hard work tastes like, Flutter-Butter! Sweet apple pie!" I stuck a fork in and slugged a piece into my mouth. Nothing beats my apple pie. Many have tried, yet none have succeeded.

       Fluttershy was very conservative with her first bite, only having a nibble at the corner. It was good enough to drop her tense shoulders and loosen her posture. She slid down into her chair. I laughed. She did as well. Just when we were having fun, I decided we couldn't get to slacking. We had to deliver a pie to Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. We got back to baking and produced two more elegant pies. We set them on the counter and nodded at each other. They were good to go. Fluttershy and I went outside, I strapped a pack around my neck to hold the pies, and she flew us both up in the air.

       We found Pinkie Pie still at the bakery and I slid the pie onto her counter. She dug into it and finished it in an impressive
(and sloppy) instant. Then we searched all over for Dash, until we found her still back at her statue, admiring it all the same. "You make me sick," I tell her. "You make me happy," she tells me. Then we fly back home to hurry back to our unfinished plates, practically falling into our chairs and wielding our forks like hungry cannibals, licking our salivating lips that drooled for another warm piece of pie. I raised the fork into my mouth, but before I bit down, the doorbell rang. I got irritated and threw my fork down on the table. I peeked through the blinds and saw Rarity.

       "The hell does she want?" I ask myself. Fluttershy asks who it is but I open the door instead of telling her. "Hello, darling," she says drawing out her voice. "What do you want, Rarity? Can you not send a letter first?" She puts her hand to her forehead like she's about to faint. "Oh dear, I didn't know the muddy Applejack was too good for the upper-class girls! If you ever want me to make a dress for you, I'll turn your attention to the burlap sacks we use for the trash." What an arrogant ass she is. I want to cut her throat as she's talking, just so I can watch her drown in her own stupid "pure" blood. Maybe I'll kill her tonight. Maybe on my birthday.

       "Just spit it out. Why are you here?" Rarity stomps her feet in the mud, looking down at it with a disturbed expression as she talks. "Well, I just wanted to let you know that the mayor has sent me to ask you whether or not you'd be willing to commit to a speech," I asked her why the mayor chose me. "The town sees a certain integrity in you. They like your candor. I frankly don't see that in you. In fact, all I think you're good for is harvesting the wool for my Autumn scarves. But, as noble as I am, I still carried out the mayor's order and sacrificed my cleanliness to deliver her request." I scoffed at her, unable to bear her pompous attitude much longer. "What's the speech about? Is it written for me?" She laughs.

       "Why, no! You need to rack that country brain of yours and come up with one yourself! The mayor suggested something 'motivational' and provoking town pride. Do you understand?" I say I do. "Yes, I just need to say that our town is the best. Sounds easy enough." Rarity pats me on the back then wipes her hand on the door frame. "Excellent! I'll go tell the mayor you'll be in the town square in three minutes! Ta-ta!" With that final remark, she pranced down the hill and down into town, bobbing up and down in her steps. I spit in her direction and went back inside. Fluttershy must've heard us talking because she asked "That's how she treats you?" I replied, "That's how she treats everyone." Fluttershy thought about it and agreed with me.

       "A speech. What are they goin' and choosin' me for? I can't go exciting ponies! That's not what I do. I harvest apples, that's all I've ever done." Fluttershy finished her pie and said, "In school, I was good at writing. I also like to read a lot, so I kind of understand what good words are... maybe I could write it for you?" I asked if she could write a speech for me in three minutes. She said she could try, and she did. She scribbled down sentences, and now and then she would pause to think of the right word to use, then go right back to writing. Her focus was incredible, and she handed me the script in no time. I read it over, said it should be fine, and thanked her. "I'll be there!" she yelled, "And don't worry! You'll do fine!" She may hate me for killing those two ponies, but somehow her loyalty and friendliness just don't falter. Bless her soul.