Pies and Knives

A short date with Dash!

Rarity... dead.
Twilight... next.
Fluttershy... last.
Rainbow Dash... later.

I hold her head in my hands. I drop it down into the hole. I shovel back in the dirt. She's gone. Shy comes out to bring me a cupcake she made. I eat it. "Are you done yet?" she asks. I tell her I am and throw the shovel aside. "Do you wanna go out and get a drink?" I ask her. "Oh I don't drink dizzy drinks." I find five coins, enough to buy two drinks. I ask her if she'll drink a milkshake, and she thinks about it for a second before saying that she would. It's pretty late out, and the sun has set but the night is young. We find a local drink-shop and head inside. We both sit down in a booth. The waiter comes over, she orders a milkshake, I order a dizzy drink, and the waiter heads back inside and later returns with our drinks. Fluttershy looks at my drink and is visibly surprised by its large size. "You're not going to get dizzy again, are you?" I promised her I wouldn't get drunk.

"Sooo... what are going to do tomorrow?" she asks.
"I don't know. Probably kill Twilight."
"You can't. She still has the spell on herself. You won't be able to touch her."
"Mm. I guess you're right."
"Would you want to... help me with the animals?"
"You're animals? The ones in your sanctuary?"
"Yeah. They need caring for daily, but you haven't really let me go see them."
"Right. Well, that doesn't sound very fun."
"Your type of fun isn't something average."
"No, it isn't. Why don't we kill Rainbow Dash?"
"What? After you two kissed?"
"Shut up. Shut up right now."
"Heehee... You two are cute together."
"It's unfortunate that we aren't dating, isn't it?"
"Oh don't try to hide it. You like her, don't you?"
"No. She bothers me."
"She bothers you, but you do like her, don't you?"
"Can you just drop the subject? I'm over it."
"Fine. But if you do start dating her, I think you'd warm up to her."

Incredibly, in walks Rainbow Dash.

"Oh crap... We have to get out of here, Sugarcube." Dash walks in and looks for a seat and she finds one open right next to us and asks, "Hey you guys. You aren't dating right? Because you're both sitting awfully close in this bar." I roll my eyes. "No, we aren't dating. I can assume you're asking because you want to date me?" She put her hands on the back of her head in a relaxed posture. "Welp, you caught me, haha! Are you... dating her?" Fluttershy answers for me. "Why, no! I believe Applejack has nobody to look after her." Dash smiles really wide, almost in a creepy way. "Well that's great! Say, AJ, what do you think? Would you wanna... go on a date?" I tell her no. "Pleeease?" I say no again. "Pretty pretty pleeease? I promise I won't bother you for the rest of the night! No, the week!"

I sigh. "If it gets you to stop bothering me. But you said for the week, so I expect not to see you for the whole seven days, alright?" She does a flying spin in the bar several times while shouting "hooray"s and "yippe"s. She lands right back in her seat like a child, eyes like a puppy dog and her head on her hands like a student admiring the looks of a girl across the classroom. She doesn't blink while looking at me over the table. "Looks like you two need some privacy. I'll sit over in the corner with my milkshake." She picks it up and sucks the straw while walking off. Dash just stares at me. She still hasn't blinked. "What are we supposed to do? I've never done a 'date' before." She leans back. "Kissing, hugging, maybe more carnal things..." I destroy the idea as fast as it comes. "None of that is happening."

"What? Aww, not even a kiss?" she asks. "Listen, no matter how many people wish we were together, I'm a pony with independence, and everyone trying to push me into a relationship with you—are demons. They are blood-sucking parasites that wish to ruin the image of perfectly respectable ponies and turn them into their own personal puppets to satisfy their own sick desires." Rainbow Dash pauses and seems surprised by my harsh judgement. She forgets it, then moves on as if my words mean nothing at all and only my presence matters to her.