A Book Of My OC's

-Moon's Memories-

Moon's POV

I remember when I was younger I learned I was going to finally be a big sister. I was so happy when I learned that I was getting a baby brother. My parents tell me that I was rambling on about having a baby brother, even if my speech was mostly incoherent at the time.

When my mother had my baby brother, they named him Roman. Roman was my only brother and I was ecstatic when I got to see him for the first time in the hospital. When I saw him, he was crying so much, but right as I held him he stopped crying and it made me smile.

Roman was an easily excited kid and he would run around the house until we all had to get him to sit down. He'd been doing that since he started running. He loved running and he told me that's the reason he did track in middle school.

Roman would always go to me whenever he had trouble with homework, I would help him study for tests when they were coming up and he would come home with a bright smile and a high graded paper. He told me I was smarter than I thought I was and told me he was proud of me and proud to be my brother.

When I was 13, I was sent to a psychiatric hospital for my first time, it was my involuntary and I hated it. I always hated hospitals. When I had gotten back, Roman had hugged me so tightly, saying how me missed me so much. He would cry when I left and begged my parents not to take me there because he didn't want to be alone. He said that even though he had many other sisters.

When I started freshman year, I was scared. I wasn't ready to be one of the older kids. I wasn't ready for the world or makeup and relationships. I kept wishing that we didn't have to worry about being pretty for the boys, I wish we could go back to when we all said that boys had cooties. I wish I didn't have to wear makeup to be a pretty girl. I wish I could go back to playing jump rope and pretend with them instead. I was afraid to grow up.

I took band class and met my now closest friend I could've ever made. She played the saxophone and I was a percussionist. She and I are adults now, I'm in a marching band and she's a singer and an actress. We still talk every night when she isn't busy with her career. I even was a cheerleader with her, but I left when the other girls said that I was too gloomy and that I was horrible at everything I did. I tried my hardest but I wasn't good enough.

I was scared to go to my first prom, I wasn't going with anyone, I didn't want to be the girl who didn't go. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt like I was over-doing it all. I felt like I looked slutty in my dress. My brother went with me that night and I was happy that someone went with me.

I was scared to graduate because it meant that I was growing up and now I needed to start looking for a job, a car, and somewhere to stay. When I got my first job, I was so anxious every day of the job that I called in so much because I was so nervous. I was fired from the job and my parents were so angry with me.

I'm 19 years old now.

My sisters are busy with their everyday lives.

I met my sister's now Husband, Davis. I care for him and I'm happy that my sister is happy with him. I was happy to be her maid of honor at the wedding.

I was nervous that I didn't look good enough, but my brother was there on the sidelines giving me a smile and a thumbs up.

I still don't have a job.

I can barely hold one.

I've been in and out of psychiatric hospitals so many times this year.

The medication is horrible and I hate it.

I wish I could go back to when I was younger and taking care of my little brother. I want to go back to the times I would ask my sisters to play with me and smile when they said yes. I want to go back when boys had cooties and playing pretend and jump rope was all we did. I want to go back to the time my dad helped me ride a bike or when my mother took me shopping for toys when I did my chores.

I was so tired of the meds and hospitals, I felt so alone when I was there.

I just want to be little again.

-Chapter End-