A Book Of My OC's

- Im disgusting -

Yeah it's angsty
Context: Moon met Asher through Band class and Asher is well liked whereas Moon is reclusive (classic trope leave me alone) and this is there first like friendship-like interaction
TW: Self-Deprecating Language/comments, mention of SH

——————>
Moon's POV

I'm absolutely disgusting. I look disgusting. I can't even take care of myself. I can't bring myself to shower or brush my hair. I can't even brush my goddamn teeth.

I look disgusting inside and out. My dumb useless body is littered in scars that I give myself when things get to hard. I have ugly stretch marks. I have an ugly body. I have this stupid norwegian accent and it sounds gross. I sound disgusting.

I don't even have a fucking friend. I have nobody. My parents don't even care. No one does. I'm alone and nobody cares. My brothers and sisters don't care.

I wish my parents didn't have me. They just should've aborted me. I bet they didn't want me in the first place. I'm a pain to deal with. I'm not okay at all and when something magically happens that is good, something bad always happens. Then my parents send me off to another hospital to stay at for a month...sometimes longer.

I'm a disappointment child. I try so hard but I always fail. I'm failing nearly all my classes and I can't seem to get the hang of anything. Sometimes I find something I love, but I'm instantly shut down. I argue with my parents and my siblings. I tell them I hate them. I don't hate them, I promise. I'm just a problem child.

I wallow in my depressive like states, just like I'm doing right now.

There's only one thing I love that hasn't been taken from me. Band. Music is my favorite thing. I play in my highschool band, I'm a percussionist. I'm passionate about music, I love the concerts and it feels like it's the only thing keeping me sane in a weird way.

There's a girl in my class, her name is Asher Jeston and she plays saxophone. She's really good at it. She's a wonderful musician. She's a nice person. I think Asher is pretty cool. I just can't bring myself to talk to her. Her friends aren't nice...

But today, after school, I was walking home. I was stopped when someone called my name.

"Moon!" I ignored it and continued to walk home.

"Moon! Wait please!" I sighed and turned around.

There she was. Asher Jeston right in front of me. Talking to me. How is she not absolutely disgusted by me?

"What..? What do you want?" I ask, my anxiety rushes to me and my hands begin to shake. I need her to go away. I need to get out of this situation. I need to leave before she starts to think I'm weird.

"I've just seen you..you just look lonely and I feel bad..Moon do you want to be friends?"

I stop for a moment. I look up at her, my words are shaky. My voice is wobbly and so is my body.

"Did you lose a bet?"

<—————

Chapter end

Hey <3 Sad chapter but I just want everyone to know that you are loved and cared for. You are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Eat something good and stay hydrated. Love you all 💖