Ocean Eyes

CHAPTER 1

Love; is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection towards someone. In any fictional story, love is depicted as this intense emotion that can't be controlled. These love stories also taught that everything was worth fighting for as long as it was in the name of love. The stories will end the same, the love interest goes through horrible situations and difficult conflict but as long as they loved each other, everything will be fine and they would still end up together.

However, this is reality. This isn't some other romance story that has a happy ending. But, even so, this is my story. This bittersweet ending is mine and I will appreciate it until the end of my life. This is the story of how I, Rachel Dawn Evans, made a dumb mistake. A mistake that taught me the true meaning of love, life and also what it means to be an adult. It taught me how to be more mature and to learn from my teenage experiences. And all of this, is thanks to him. But now we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's turn back time a bit to a time where I still hadn't made my mistake. To a time before there was an 'us' between me and him. To a much simpler time.

When I look into those ocean eyes, I can't help to feel the urge to cry, let's just say, you really know how to make me cry when you give me those ocean eyes. I feel like drowning, suffocating while simultaneously being overwhelmed by emotions like sadness and despair. I always felt trapped as if I was left all alone on a deserted island surrounded by the ocean.

I know this might sound weird to you, especially coming from me but I have to express these feelings to you. I sometimes feel like still love and care for you. However, these feelings don't usually last long. Just a flash of a memory and immediately all of these feelings will be lost as if it never happened, just like our relationship. Honestly, I don't even want to think of you anymore. Yet, here I am, still thinking about you day and night.

What did you do wrong? Well, that's a difficult question to answer, considering everything that happened between us wasn't completely your fault.You treated me nicely and gave me enough attention when we were together. You cared about me all the time and yet, something about those ocean eyes of yours, I Just can't stand it. It might just be me and my crazy mind filled with imaginations.

But it could just also be reality that we never talked about;things that were left unspoken when we decided to part ways. Overall, I still think that my feelings for you are complicated. It's true, I once had a huge crush on you to the point it wasn't funny, and yes, I felt happy when you said you feel the same way about me. 

However, I think that this relationship is going nowhere and it isn't giving us any benefit. Maybe you did leave me for a reason. A good reason. Which had left for us to reflect on our life choices. Our future, or should I say, your future and my future? I don't particularly hate you. It's not that simple.

The emotions I feel towards you aren't feelings that could easily be conveyed. But one thing is for sure, I don't want to ever see your ocean eyes again. Never again in this life will I look at you in the eyes. Those ocean eyes that once looked at me with such care, comfort and concern, are they gone now? Whatever, it doesn't ever matter anymore to both of us.

Do you remember when we first met?? Yeah, it sure has been a while, about 15 years ago I suppose. We first met when we were 10, we were both still kids that were naive about how this world works. Neither of us could have ever predicted the fate that lies upon us. Back then, we were classmates. Nothing much. We never even talked to each other, the most we did was probably looking at each other once in a while.

Skip to when we were 12, now that is when I first noticed how breath-taking those ocean eyes of yours were. Deep blue eyes staring into my typical brown eyes. Damn, when I first saw your eyes, I felt ugly in a way. Kind of funny now that I think about it. Beforehand, I actually never saw your eyes because you had long bangs that covered your eyes.