Ocean Eyes

CHAPTER 6

          I got back home and immediately went into my room. I wasn't in the mood. I didn't had dinner and refused to talk to anyone. But then, Ashley got into my room. Even though Ashley can be quite annoying, she can still read situations and the air in the room really well. She had a good eye. She hopped onto my bed, followed by all 5 of my cats. I was quiet. Didn't say a word. Just, wrapped up under the blanket. Ashley looked at me and looked up at the ceiling. "So, want to talk about it?" Ashley asked. I stuffed my face into my pillow. "So, that's a no I guess?" Ashley questioned. I nodded slowly. Ashley sighed and changed her position to face towards me. "You know, you'll feel a lot better if you talk it out to someone? You can at least share your troubles with someone and afterwards you're going to be left with a bit of relief. Still don't want to?" Ashley asked again. I didn't reply.

Ashley thought for a few moments before finally saying something that made me tell her everything. "You know, I'm your sister, right?? The only sibling you have, and the only person who knows you very well, right?" Ashley asked and looked at me with hopes that I would reply. I sat there in silence for a few seconds before slowly getting out of the blanket and revealed myself. Ashley smiled. "Wanna tell me now??" I nodded slowly and held her hands. It was warm, or maybe my hands were the cold ones. "Call me crazy after this, and I wouldn't judge. Get ready, cause this is one heck of a story" I told Ashley. She smiled bitterly. "I can handle it" she replied. I took a deep breath and told her everything. Every single detail.

         After telling her the whole story, I looked at her. Her face was pale, and her jaw dropped. She was truly as shocked as I was. Ashley took a deep breath and let it out. "You know what's the best thing for you to do right now, right?" Ashley asked. I nodded. "I'm going to do it tomorrow" I replied. "Wow! that fast? Well, better give me his number right now then" Ashley asked for his number. "What-why?" I asked, confused. "Just in case anything bad happens" Ashley replied and grinned. I sighed and gave her your number. I mean, it could be for the better, I trust Ashley. The next day after school, I met you at the library. I was so shocked to see you all bruised up. Your eyes were swollen and I could see the scars on your arm. It was bad, it seemed like your dad had beaten you up all night. You were abused. I took a deep breath. I need a lot of courage to do this. I looked at you.

           "Hey, you okay???" I asked. "Oh, yeah it's nothing. Used to it" you replied. You looked dead inside. I let out a quiet sigh and looked at you. "I, actually wanted to talk about something with you" "what is it?" You asked, looking at me. I gulped and breathed out slowly. Trying to be calm. "I-I think it's best if we stopped talking and seeing each other all the time" I stated. I could feel my heart shatter at my own sentence, but it might be for the best. "What?!" You asked in pure disbelief. "Okay, listen here. I don't want you to get hurt anymore and-" "I talked to my mom! She said that I can date after I graduate from university! Just, don't do this to me!" You screamed in a begging tone. "Okay, that's good to hear but we still need to break up no matter what! Hear me out!" I shouted. You looked at me in disbelief. "No!! You hear me out! How am I supposed to stay happy and keep on being myself if you're not going to be there by my side? What's the point?" You asked.

          "I'm already used to all of these scars! But if you leave me, then that is a scar that I'm not used to and I fear I will never get over. Ray, you're the reason I'm still alive. You're the reason I still haven't attempted suicide! If you leave me, then I've completely lost a reason in living again., I'll go back to being a damn stupid gang leader. I just, please, stay with me Rachel" you continued. "You have no idea how much you mean to me" I heard you whisper. I felt bad. Guilt was growing more and more inside of me. But I had to do it, for us. I didn't want to cause you any harm. I didn't want to add fuel to fire to your already bad relationship with your family.

I let out a huge sigh and stared at you with empty eyes. I don't want to look too emotional. I really need to keep my cool this time. "Well, why don't you hear me out now? Listen, this is for the best. Even I don't want to break up with you! I mean, why would I? I had this huge crush on you for years now, and yet I was lucky enough to be your girlfriend, of course it would sound crazy that I would want to break up with you! Even now it still sounds crazy to me! But, considering the situation we're in now, we have to. Hey, I want you to remember the first purpose I talked to you. It was so that I could know all your problems and help you solve it, even now, I am still solving one of your problems despite how selfish it may sound" I explained. Your face looked very sad. I clenched my fist, trying not to cry. No, not again, no more crying.