Only Emptiness Remains

Desperate Measures

One week later, Brittany woke up that morning with the same consistent sense of dread. She sat up in her bed for a while and thought about the school year so far.

The first anniversary of Miss Miller's death was coming up soon. She couldn't believe it had almost been a year. Brittany wished more than anything that Miss Miller was still alive.

She wished she could talk to her about everything that had happened since her death and how hard it had all been on her. About hurting her knee and how it has been awful to be kept out of cheerleading and performing as a result of it. About how the rest of the cheer squad was now excluding her from literally every single thing. About her break-up with Alvin. Everything.

The loss of Miss Miller hurt so much, she simply couldn't bear it. She needed Miss Miller more than ever right now. She needed her mom.

She then thought about how Alvin was class president this year. She had actually voted for him herself. She would never admit that to anyone though. But of course she was going to vote for Alvin. It only made sense.

After all, she had never even spoken two words to Mac 'what's-his-name' the entire time he had been at their school. She couldn't remember his last name at all, not even an initial. So why would she have voted for him?

And the only reason she even remembered his first name is because she associated it with MAC cosmetics. One of her favorite makeup brands of all time, of course.

Then there was the whole other issue of Alvin and Lindsay. God, Brittany remembered not even wanting to go and see the school production of Grease last year.

She couldn't stand the idea of watching Lindsay in the role she was supposed to be playing, or her scenes with Alvin. Luckily, she was able to use the painkillers as an excuse by saying they had made her way too sleepy to see the play.

But now she had to see the two of them together in the halls at school and it killed her so much. Whenever she saw Lindsay flirting with him and batting her eyelashes at him.

She hated it when she saw it during rehearsals. She hated it even more now.

She couldn't stand seeing her with those lollipops in her mouth all the time. Prancing around in those super low-cut tops. And coming from Brittany, that was saying a lot.

What was up with Lindsay's clothes, anyway? Was she allergic to bras or something?

And she didn't even want to think about getting started on her hair. Between her roots always showing, plus all the split-ends she could count (most likely from abusing her hair with a hair straightener for so long) it would require way too much mental energy to try to figure out how to help the girl there. Not that she was interested in helping her, at all.

What exactly did Alvin see in Lindsay, anyway? Was it her reputation, maybe? She had heard all of the rumors about Lindsay.

Despite her still being fairly new to their school. She couldn't help but wonder how much that was actually saying about her. Then a devastating thought occurred to her. Was he planning on sleeping with her? If he hadn't already, that is.

And now she was heading back to that same mental space she was in when she realized that Alvin had used her for sex on that fateful day he broke up with her over the summer. Even though he swore up and down that's not the reason he dumped her, she was still having trouble believing it.

But she quickly shook her head and tried to push all those thoughts to the side. She had to stop thinking about all of that.

It was all in the past and she was determined not to live there anymore. After all, she had a plan she was following now. The one that would put her back in charge of her own life once again.