Sin City

20: Contract with Chaos

Two years later

I tilted my chin down to look at the guy in between my legs, savoring me. Nabalik ang tingin ko sa kisame ng hotel, my gaze landed on a cobweb on the corner of the ceiling, napabuntong hininga nalamang ako.

"Stop," I push his head away.

"What? Why? Is it so good?" nakangisi nitong sabi. He was about to dive in again but I pushed his head away from me again.

"No, I need you to stop," I firmly said.

His forehead creased. "Are you about to come?" nagtatakang tanong nito.

I shook my head. "No one's coming, hindi ka marunong kumain ng puke," I felt how sharp my words and I could see it in his face that it hurt him, but I didn't care. I quickly got up to put my underwear and shorts back on.

"Wait, Nardan, I booked this hotel for us!"

Napatitig ako sa kamay niya na nasa braso ko, matalim ko agad siyang tinignan dahilan para unti unti niyang tanggalin ang kamay niya. Binaling ko ang tingin ko sa bag ko at kumuha ng tatlong libo. "Here," I slapped the money on his chest, I didn't wait for him to get it at inalis ko ang kamay ko sa dibdib niya. I left the room while he was picking the money on the floor.

I don't even know that guy's name.

"Alas seis na."

Napabuntong hininga ako nang makita ko si dad na nagkakape sa sala habang may binabasa pa sa laptop niya. "I know," I lazily answered as I walked towards him. I moved in with dad after I left Vegas dahil hindi ko alam kung bakit naaawa ako sa kanya, ayokong mag isa lang siya sa bahay. Mom lives with ate Nadia kaya hindi siya mag-isa, but dad was. "We had fun, hindi ko na napansin ang oras," sabi ko rito bago ako bumeso sa kanya. Napakunot ang noo ko nang maamoy ko ang pabango niya, I then noticed that he's already dressed.

"Are you golfing today?" I curiously asked when I noticed that he's dressed for golf.

"Yeah," he nodded. Mas lalong napakunot ang noo ko, I crossed my arms as I stood in front of him and his black coffee.

"Golf at six in the morning?" tinaasan ko ito ng kilay. One thing I love about living with my dad, mas pinupuna ko pa ang mga lakad niya.

"Yeah, I'm going with a friend," he nonchalantly said before he sipped his coffee.

I bitterly scoffed. "A friend, sure," I sarcastically said bago ako tumalikod para magpunta na sa taas. Ano pa bang ineexpect ko, babae na naman ang inaatupag niya.

"It's a guy friend, Nardan, kailangan niya kasing bumalik sa States this afternoon," he explained as I walked up the stairs. Napairap nalamang ako kahit hindi niya nakikita, halatang nagsisinungaling na naman kasi siya. "Do you want to come with?" he asked.

"No, I'm tired," tipid kong sagot bago pumasok sa kwarto ko.

After I showered, I laid in my bed and stared at my ceiling. Napahinga akong malalim nang maalala ko nanaman ang nangyari noong isang araw. Ruth who I tried to trust again after what happened in Vegas broke my trust again at pinagtagpo kami ni Rouqil.

I want us, Jillian. Nagsisisi na ako na iniwan kita.

It seems like he forgot the part where he betrayed and used me. Bakit ba siya nandito? Bakit pa ba siya nagpakita sa akin? Medyo okay na ako eh. Hindi na ako gabi gabi umiiyak. It's almost three years since that shit happened. Bakit ngayon lang siya nagsisi? Bakit ngayon lang siya magsosorry?