Sin City

23: Embrace

"Sobra. Mahal na mahal kita noon at mahal na mahal pa rin kita ngayon."

Huminga akong malalim at tumango. The part of me who still loves Roux, believes him, he sounds very genuine. Pero yung parte sa akin na nasaktan sa ginawa niya noon ay hindi, it was traumatic to look back at our past kung saan he made me feel loved, pero bigla nalang niya akong hiniwalayan at niloko.

"Good night, Roux," I breathlessly said. Tumalikod na agad ako.

"I'm sorry, Jillian. I'm sorry kung yung nagawa ko sayo dati gave you more trust issues, kung yung nagawa ko dati made you doubt my love for you. You didn't deserve it. But please, let me make it up to you. I will be better for you, I'll be the man you deserve, at pagkaya mo na akong pakinggan, let me know and I will explain everything to you," malungkot nitong sabi. And I hate how I could hear the defeat and regret in his voice. Nakakagago sa puso.

I clenched my jaw and tightly closed my eyes, tumulo agad ang mga luha ko.

Napatingin agad ako sa bewang ko nang maalimpungatan ako at naramdaman kong may mabigat sa tiyan ko. I immediately sucked my stomach in as soon as I realized that it was Rouqil's hand, wrapped around my waist. Nabibingi na naman ako sa tibok ng puso ko kahit ang lakas ng ulan sa labas.

"Roux," I cleared my throat. Napahinga agad akong malalim when I felt his grip tightened. "Rouqil," I tried to stern my voice.

"Hmm?"

"May... May work pa tayo," nahihirapan kong sagot, it felt like my heart was in my throat.

"It's raining and I already cleared the schedule," his voice was sleepy and husky. "Mas comfy dito," he tightened his grip again, pulling me closer to him.

"Roux," I hissed, tugging the sleeve of his white crewneck.

"What?" he whined. Napairap naman agad ako.

"Nasaan na yung unan sa gitna? Ba't nakaakap ka na sa akin?" reklamo ko rito. Ba't nga ba kami magkatabi na ngayon?!

"Ewan ko sayo, ikaw lang naman yung nasa space ko ah," agad na sagot nito, may panunukso at pamimintang pa sa boses niya. He leaned over on my shoulder and pointed my side of the bed. My face immediately flushed nang makita ko na ang laki ng space ko. "See?" he chuckled. "You're still a bed hog, Jillian," nakangisi nitong sabi.

Heto na nga ba ang sinasabi ko kaya ayoko siyang katabi eh! "Ewan ko din sayo, get off me nga!" inis kong sabi rito to hide myself from embarrassment. Nagpumilit agad akong umalis sa kamay niya.

Rouqil softly chuckled, enjoying that I'm embarrassed at mas humigpit pa ang yakap niya sa bewang ko. "Five more minutes," he sleepily said. Pulling me closer to him til my back rests on his chest. And I felt relieved, I felt relieved that I wasn't the only one na sobrang lakas ang tibok ng puso.

"Four," I protested.

"Four and a half?" he negotiated, I could imagine him mischievously grinning.

"Three," pagmamatigas ko pa.

"Ano ba yan," reklamo pa nito, his grip tightened again, ramdam ko na ang pangungulila niya sa yakap niya. "Sige, four na lang," he gave in.

Hindi ko napigilang mapangiti. I shouldn't be allowing him to be this close to me but I can't lie to myself, sobrang namiss ko ang mga yakap niya tuwing umaga. "Okay," I gave in, too. Ang hina mo talaga, Nardan.

"Hmm, close your eyes na muna ulit. Wala naman tayong work today eh," malumanay nitong sabi habang mahinang hinahaplos ang tiyan ko gamit ang hinlalaki niya. Napahinga akong malalim at tumango, enjoying the feeling of his gentle rubs on my tummy, nakakaantok kasi.