Sin City

29: The Nightmare

"Hindi ka na naman sasama?!"

I left Andrea on read and put my phone down. Hindi na ulit ako sumasama sa kanila tuwing aalis sila dahil alam ko na kasama na naman si Rouqil. Buti nalang ay pinagtatanggol ako ni Chanty sa group chat namin.

Napatingin ako sa bote ng alak na hawak ko nang maramdaman ko ang gaan nito. I heaved a sad sigh and put the paintbrush down, tumayo ako at lumabas ng kwarto para kumuha ulit ng alak.

"Oh my god!" I gasped nang may biglang lumabas sa kwarto ni dad. His room was across my room. "Mom?!" I exclaimed in disbelief. My jaw dropped as soon as I saw my mother leave my dad's room, nabaling agad ang tingin ko sa suot nito. My world felt like it stopped spinning when I saw her in dad's robe. Lumabas din agad si dad ng kwarto. Mas lalo akong naguluhan nang makita siyang nakahubad at tanging plaid pajamas lang ang suot.

"Nardan, anak, I can explain," mom looked at me with guilt. Umatras agad ako nang subukan niya akong hawakan.

"Nardan, we're talking things out," pagpapaliwanag naman agad ni dad.

Napakunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. "Talking things out?!" bulyaw ko. "You've been divorced for years!"

"Nardan, anak, we've been trying for years to fix things, too," malungkot na sagot sa akin ni dad.

"Mom?" I looked at my mom, malungkot at naguguluhan ko siyang tinignan. Pero hindi siya makatingin sa akin. He hurt her multiple times, they've put me through shit because of their relationship and now malalaman kong they've been trying to fix things?! Dismayado nalamang akong napailing sa kanilang dalawa. "This is fucking wrong and you guys know that," I quickly went back to my room and locked it.

Wala sa kanilang dalawa ang nagtangkang kumatok at kausapin ako.

"Guys! I just fucking saw mom leave dad's room!" pagsumbong ko agad sa kanila sa video call ng magpipinsan. They were already on a video call with Eumika.

They laughed at me, including my brother and I felt disappointed, may nakakatawa ba sa sinabi ko?

"Walang nakakatawa don!" naiinis kong sabi. Hindi ba nila maintindihan how weird this is for me? I saw my mom cry over my dad, I saw how their relationship changed throughout the years, and we were greatly affected by it at ngayon para silang teenagers na sinusubukan na magbalikan?

"Nardan, let them be. Matanda na sila," natatawang sagot naman ni kuya Adrian. I could physically feel my heart getting torn apart.

I ended the call without a goodbye and called ate Nadia instead. Maiintindihan niya ako. But she didn't answer my phone call.

"Sorry, I can't talk right now, love. Busy ako sa hospital," she immediately messaged me.

Si kuya Aidan naman ang sunod kong tinawagan, nagsumbong agad ako sa kanya as soon as he answered my call.

"Nardan, matanda na sila. Kung yan ang desisyon nila lalo na si mom, wala na tayong magagawa," my heart broke even more because of his answer.

"Hindi niyo kasi maintindihan kuya eh, bakit ba okay lang sa inyo?" pag-iyak ko. Marahas ko agad na pinunasan ang mga luha ko. "Naiwan akong mag-isa sa bahay kasama silang dalawa, I had to deal with their fucked up relationship! Napakaunfair niyo!"

I ended the call and quickly left the house. I kept driving and driving. The road was empty dahil alas tres na ng madaling araw so I revved my car, rolled my windows down, and felt cold breeze of air on my face. Ang lakas pa din ng tibok ng puso ko. Everything infuriates me. Si kuya Adrian at kuya Aidan na hindi ako maintindihan at ang nakita ko kanina. I don't understand why they couldn't understand my side, it's fucked up to witness my mom cry over my dad and then see her again, coming out of his room half naked.