The Affair

Chapter 31

SIX MONTHS

My hands are sweating. My legs feel weak. I'm taking slow, deep breaths. There's a chill in the air that makes me shiver momentarily. It's a beautiful late afternoon in Central Park.

"Relax."

I glance back to Sebastian, who is smiling, and then look down to my hands, which are clasped together against the front of my pants. I do a quick look over of myself. My tuxedo is fitted perfectly to my body, a black three piece, from Louis Vuitton. I glance at my watch and then out to the rows of people that are chattering quietly amongst themselves.

This is nerve racking. I realize I am wracked by a feeling that she's decided she no longer wants to do this with me and she's run away, I'll never see her again, she's fucking gone... But my fears are dashed in an instant when I hear the soft piano music begin to play.

Just as my attention is, everyone else's attention is also directed to the end of the rose petal covered aisle. They were dropped there only moments before by Sebastian's daughter, my nearly four year old niece, who is sitting on her mothers lap in the first row. Beside of her is Kiera and Sophie and Leo. Sophie hasn't stopped crying. It's made me roll my eyes more than once, yet deep down it makes me feel so loved. I know if my mother was here she would be overjoyed and happy for me.

The moment I see Theodora, any composure I have tried to keep dissipates. I look away and cover my mouth, shake my head, and begin to cry. Not so much crying, but quiet sobbing. She looks so beautiful in her wedding dress that I can't take it. Sebastian squeezes my shoulder and laughs, as if to offer me comfort, and I look back. My emotions are overwhelmed and I can't bring myself to stop.

She's crying, too, while also smiling with me. Her brother is leading her to me slowly and through my tears I continue to marvel at how unbelievably beautiful she looks. Her hair is curled and piled on top of her head, styled so perfectly, and her dress is perfection. It's laced and white and has long sleeves.

The moment she reaches me she touches my face, wipes my tears away, and I do the same to her before placing my hand against her stomach. It's rounded out and firm, I feel our baby kick just then, our little Phoebe, and I have to restrain myself from kissing her and pulling her against me.

"I love you, darling," I whisper.

She says it back softly and then, we begin.

We take our vows to each other. Promising to love one another through sickness and in health, through bad times and good times, and everything in between. We don't swear on a Bible, but swear to each other. I promise to love her until the day that I die, swear that I'll never love another person, that I'll never be unfaithful. I mean every word with my whole heart, my entire being. She's the moon and the stars and everything that could possibly mean anything in this world to me. It begins and ends with her.

She makes the same promises to me while I fight back tears. I hadn't expected to cry this much. I thought I might have a couple tears, but I'm a mess. I've spent the majority of my life suppressing my emotions and hiding the way I feel, but I don't have to do that anymore. I've found someone who loves me and that I love just the same. I've found my person, my best friend, my everything. A lover for life. I can't live without her and I'll never have to.

I place her ring on her finger and she does the same to me. A simple band made of silver for me and the matching band to her engagement ring for her. A tremor runs through me as I stare into her eyes. The tears well in my eyes once more and I smile at her.