The Affair

Chapter 34

My calls have gone unanswered since I went through baggage claim. I had expected both Theodora and Phoebe to be waiting for me the same way they were when I came back from Europe, but they weren't. I've sent numerous messages in addition to calling. Now, I decide to leave a voicemail.

"Darling, I've been touched down for nearly an hour. Did you forget you were supposed to get me? Starting to worry me a bit. I love you. Call me back."

I'm lying. I'm not just a bit worried, but extremely worried. She always answer my calls or my texts and she knew I was coming home. We spoke right before I boarded my flight not even six hours ago. There's a fear, just the smallest bit, that perhaps she's decided to leave me and take Phoebe with her. I can't think of any reason why she would ever do that. We're happy, we've been so happy, but that's where my mind wants to go.

She wouldn't leave me. She loves me. I love her. We have a family together. We're happy. That's it. Don't be fucking stupid. They're probably taking a nap and the time got away from her, that's all.

I decide to rent a car and drive myself home instead of waiting for her. I text her to tell her that as well, then call her mother. She's notorious for not answering her phone and this time isn't any different, so I text her, too. I haven't even made it out of the City when she's calling me.

"Is something wrong?"

I sigh.

"I'm sure everything is fine. But she was supposed to pick me up from the airport. I can't get her on the telephone. She isn't answering my messages. That's not like her."

"No, it isn't," she mutters. "Are you stuck there?"

"No, I've rented a car. I'm on my way there now."

"I'll leave now and meet you at the house."

I shake my head.

"I don't think that's really necessary, Bernadette. Just see if you can get ahold of her and let me know."

She's silent for a moment.

"I'm going to go ahead and come that way, okay?"

I can tell she's worried, too.

"Okay. See you in a bit. Drive safely."

I hang up and focus intently on driving, going well past the speed limit, while trying not to let myself get worked up. This is foolish. I'm sure she's simply taken a nap that's run over. She's had a headache all week and hasn't felt the best. More than once I offered to cancel the rest of my obligations and fly back home, but she refused to let me do that.

We FaceTimed every morning and every evening. We didn't have any fights, but we never really fight. What's there to fight about? We rarely disagree on anything. But I'm trying to think of if I've done anything to upset her. I come up empty.

Despite how we started out, with an affair, I like to think we have a near perfect marriage. I'm so in love with her, ridiculously in love, and I believe she feels the same way about me. I've never been unfaithful or even had the thought to be unfaithful. I try to do everything I can for her. We made a beautiful little girl and have been talking about having another baby.

Bernadette sends me a message saying she can't get ahold of Theodora. I don't respond to it because the low aching in my stomach begins to grow.

I keep telling myself she's asleep, she's just napping, her phone is on silent and she's napping. That's all. But I'm doing ninety and gripping the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles have turned white. I propel myself further and further, faster, until I'm whipping in to the drive that leads to our house. It's long and winding and I take slow breaths as I go the length of it.