This Ascent to Divinity is Lewder than Expected (A Futa LitRPG)

2.11 Setting Off, Philosophical Disagreements

They visited Anja One-Eye to handle their mundane portion of items first. They showed up late, Zoey having found success in her soapy teasing of Rosalie's body during their shared shower. Not exceptionally late, though, but Rosalie seemed irritated at herself that she hadn't made it to the old woman's shop immediately on opening. Zoey had been called a few variations of the word 'troublesome'.

Zoey spectated in silence as she watched her partner go about the haggling process. Of the ten or fifteen rather unimpressive pieces of dungeon loot they'd left with Anja, Rosalie only kept three. The rest they bartered to Anja, which, from Zoey's understanding, would be shortly sold off to another party. Anja was simply an intermediary. Rosalie could make much greater profits if she took her time and shopped around, but Rosalie had said it herself: money didn't matter. Beyond being able to supply themselves, they didn't need the best equipment they could obtain for their advancement. In fact, Zoey got the sense Rosalie had no intentions of staying at advancement two for long enough for collecting second-advancement armor to matter.

Fe, the plush, curvy sheep-girl was up next. And Zoey was much more interested in the results of those items.

"It's incredible," Fe said. "The results of all three analyses were just, just fascinating! A first advancement shard, you said?"

Zoey grinned at the promising start. "Yeah. Let's hear it."

"Where should I start?" Fe had the three items they'd taken in to be identified laid out on the counter.

"Nipple rings, first?"

Fe nodded. "You were right to be suspicious. The name was standard enough—'of alacrity' is a routine modifier—but they serve more function than just a Wayfarer would take interest in."

"They do, do they?" Zoey's smile was growing. Fe seemed equal parts excited and awkward to talk about it.

"They're still adventuring equipment, but yes—they serve a few uses. You'll definitely want to keep them. Or sell them—I'm sure they'd go for a great price."

"Get to it, please," Rosalie said.

"Right! So. It has two sigils, as the description said. They're synergistic with each other." She coughed. "Forgive the frank phrasing: the first sigil accelerates a user's arrival to orgasm."

Zoey blinked rapidly. "That's a good thing?" She guessed if you were looking for a quickie ... but the build-up was the best part, usually.

"Like I said, it's practical equipment! The second sigil, you see, produces a lingering attack-speed buff for fourteen to eighteen minutes after orgasm. So reaching orgasm fast is a good thing because of the synergy. It's fairly potent, too. Twenty-two percent."

"Percent!" Rosalie wasn't a woman prone to outbursts; it drew a surprised look from Zoey. "An amplifier like that? As a first advancement artifact?"

"I know! Incredible, isn't it?"

"That's, that's—" Rosalie paused. She wiped a hand down her face. "That makes this damned item the best I've found since I've come down here."

"And it gets better!" Fe enthused. "This shard, you two really don't know how lucky you got. The others are just as impressive."

"Sounds like we'll have to put them to good use," Zoey said, grinning at Rosalie. "You know. For practicality's sake."

Fe's face went red at the implication. Zoey had half forgotten they'd had company.

"We'll discuss that later," Rosalie said, also flushing, and shooting Zoey an annoyed look. "Please continue."

"The second item. The, um, cock ring." The lewd item name stumbled from the sheep-girl, even if she was much less awkward than Anja had been. "This one's the least practical of the bunch, but also the," she coughed, "erm, most fun-focused, to be direct. And quite bizarre. It does exactly as the description says—prevents orgasm, until the binder releases the item—but also more, something not specifically stated in the description. As expected of a rare-quality item. My analysis indicates the longer it's attached, or perhaps rather, the longer and more intense an orgasm has been staved off, the larger the weapon grows."