"Today is my parents' death anniversary," Jay muttered when he was having breakfast with Y/N and Grandma downstairs. The two looked at him but he was eating, the expression on his face unreadable. "I will visit their graves after breakfast."
"They would be happy to know that you're taking this time to remember them." Grandma offered him a small, appreciative smile as he paused, his spoon halfway to his mouth. His gaze was fixed somewhere on the table, lost in thought.
"It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling, Jay." Y/N hesitantly said, making him swallow hard, his throat suddenly tight. "You're right where you need to be."
"Thank you." He responded, his voice slightly hoarse. Every year on this day, he would sit next to their graves and silently stare at the sky, wondering if his parents were watching over him from beyond. It had been years since they had passed away, but the pain still felt fresh on this particular day.
"If you'd like, I can go with you." Y/N carefully suggested, looking at Jay with a reassuring smile.
"I..." He looked away, his emotions warring within him. "I appreciate that, Y/N. I'm not trying to push you away but I think I need this time alone. Just for today."
"Yes, of course. Just do what feels right for you." She nodded understandingly and his eyes softened. He knew that Y/N's offer came from a place of genuine concern and care. The understanding in her eyes eased some of the tension he had been feeling.
Grandma reached across the table and patted his hand gently. "We're here for you, dear." Everything made him feel a little less conflicted, a little more understood.
As he finished his meal, he pushed his plate aside and took a deep breath. Rising from the table, he glanced at Y/N and Grandma with eyes filled with gratitude. "I'm going to head to the cemetery now."
"Take all the time you need, Jay. We'll be here when you get back." The two of them gave him warm, understanding smiles and with a nod, Jay left the house and made his way to the cemetery.
The path was familiar and worn, much like the memories he held close to his heart. A bouquet of flowers later, he found himself walking through the gravestones, reading the names of those who were once vibrant lives, now remembered through stone markers. The wind rustled through the leaves of the trees, creating a gentle, comforting whisper that seemed to echo the whispers of those who had passed on.
One day his name would join this quiet chorus, a thought that both saddened and humbled him. But that's just how life is, a cycle of beginnings and endings.
Jay's footsteps echoed softly as he wandered, lost in his thoughts until he reached the familiar spot where his parents rested. The gravestones stood side by side and it was beautiful how they still seemed to be together even in the afterlife. With a sigh, he kneeled down and carefully placed the bouquet of flowers between the gravestones.
He took a moment to just sit there, his gaze fixed on the gravestones. He thought about the countless times he had visited this place, trying to connect with his parents in some way. "Mom, Dad," He whispered, his voice carrying his love and longing to the quiet breeze that rustled the leaves of nearby trees. "It's been a while."
Pulling his legs closer to him, he closed his eyes and let the memories wash over him. He remembered his father's hearty laughter, the way he used to tousle Jay's hair and offer words of wisdom. His mother's gentle touch and her warm embrace that could chase away any worries.
If only their car didn't crash that fateful day. If only he died with them on that fateful day instead of watching them slowly slip away. He was young and he stayed there, under the heavy weight of the car and the survival guilt that never quite left him.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, it's something that he had learned over the years. It takes its own course, twisting and turning like a river through the heart. Y/N, too, knew this very well. Since her boyfriend's death a few months ago, she found it hard to live in a world that suddenly felt so different without Sungho. Every morning felt like a struggle for her. The routine that used to be so familiar suddenly seemed empty and hollow. She missed his morning texts, the way he made her laugh, and the warmth of his presence. It was as if a piece of her had been taken away, leaving behind an ache that seemed impossible to heal.
She didn't cry, but her heart was ripped apart every time she thought about him. It felt like a silent ache that seemed to have no end.
In those early days after his passing, Y/N had clung to the idea that maybe, just maybe, he was still around in some form. She would catch herself glancing at the door, half-expecting him to walk in with that infectious smile of his. She would hear a song they both loved and almost turn to share a knowing look, only to remember he was no longer there.
It was late in the afternoon and Jay was still not back. Grandma said that he might have gone to the nearby park to clear his mind. Y/N knew he needed space, but when it suddenly started raining, her worry began to grow. As minutes turned into what felt like hours, Y/N found herself pacing back and forth in the living room. Then she grabbed her jacket and stepped out of the house, letting the rain soak her clothes and hair but she didn't mind. All she wanted was to find Jay and give him a tight hug.
She reached the park, her breath misting in the cold air before she spotted a familiar figure sitting on a bench, making her heart skip a beat. She quickened her pace, her footsteps softened by the damp ground, until she was standing in front of Jay. His hair was wet, raindrops clinging to his lashes as he looked up at her.
"Y/N," He breathed, the tears falling down his cheeks, blending with the raindrops on his face. She pulled him into a tight hug, holding him close as if trying to shield him from the storm that raged both outside and within.
Jay's arms wrapped around her, his grip tight as he clutched onto her, his fingers digging into the fabric of her jacket. "It's okay. I'm here with you." He cried in her arms, not like the day he cried because of the injured cat, but with a depth of sorrow that words could hardly express.
"It hurts so much," He spoke, his voice breaking as the words escaped his lips. He was a human after all and it was only natural for him to still remember the time he lost the two people that were meant to have a huge and important part of his life. It was something he could not control, something that still haunted him.
"I know, Jay, I know it so well and it's okay to feel it." She cried and hugged him and hoped that the rain that fell around them could somehow wash away some of their grief.
"If I died, everything would have been better..." His words hung in the air like a heavy shadow, cutting through the sound of raindrops. "If only-" Y/N pulled away slightly, cupping his face to make him meet her gaze. Her fingers gently brushed against his wet hair as she looked into his eyes.
"How could you even say that? Do you know how much I'm glad you exist? How I silently thanked the universe for letting me met you again after all these years? You matter to everyone around you and... to me. We would never want a world without you in it." His eyes locked into hers for a moment before he buried his face in her stomach and let out a deep, heavy sob.
Those were the words he had needed to hear, the affirmation that his pain was not in vain and that his existence held significance.
