Y/N sat at her desk, part of her focused on work and the other stuck replaying Jay's words. The meeting ended when she silently stepped out of the meeting room and headed back to her desk, leaving her with a pain and a sadness that could never be completely erased.
"Y/N, can you review this?" One of her coworkers interrupted her thoughts, placing a stack of documents on her desk. She blinked, trying to refocus on her job. "Are you okay? You don't seem very—"
"I'm fine," Y/N replied, though her voice lacked the usual warmth. She forced a smile though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'll get to these documents right away, don't worry." Her coworker nodded and left her to her work, but Y/N felt as if a thick fog had settled over her mind, making it hard to concentrate on anything other than Jay's words. She knew she had to shake off this melancholy, but it clung to her like a second skin.
She didn't know if Jay was in his new office or out and about in the company, but she tried her best to keep her distance, avoiding any unnecessary encounters. She really didn't want to see him, not after the raw emotions their last conversation had stirred up. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, fate had other plans.
It was break time when she stepped upstairs onto the rooftop to get some fresh air and clear her head. The rain had stopped, leaving the air damp and cool. A sigh left her lips when she leaned against the railing, staring out at the cityscape below. It was a view she had always found soothing, yet now, even the familiar sight couldn't ease the ache in her heart.
As she stood there, lost in her thoughts, she heard the rooftop door creak open. She turned, her heart racing, and there he was. Jay, looking just as surprised as she felt to see him there. For a moment, they simply stood there, both caught off guard by the unexpected encounter. The cool breeze ruffled their hair, and the distant sounds of the city below seemed to fade away, leaving them in a fragile bubble of time.
"I'll go-" Y/N broke the silence but Jay just turned around and left the sentence unfinished. She watched him walk away, his figure slowly disappearing behind the rooftop door. Swallowing a lump, she closed her eyes while the cold wind brushed against her cheeks, causing her to shiver involuntarily.
Seeing how he had reacted, how he had chosen to walk away, made her realize that perhaps some wounds were too deep to heal. But somehow, it was better this way. She wouldn't have to worry about loving him while still grieving Sungho's passing. The guilt wouldn't weigh on her shoulders as heavily and Jay would find happiness with someone else who would be able to give him the love he deserved.
The hours passed in a blur and it was finally time to leave, but the president informed them about a work dinner and Y/N wished for a legitimate excuse to decline. She felt drained, but she knew she had to attend the dinner. Avoiding it would only raise questions and speculation and she really didn't need more stress in her life. She reluctantly agreed to go, hoping that she could put on a brave face and get through the evening without any more heartache.
It was a welcome dinner for Jay and Y/N couldn't help but feel anxious as she took her seat at the table, not far from where Jay was seated. Everyone was engaged in conversation, discussing work-related topics and getting to know Jay better while she picked at her food, her appetite nonexistent. The president seemed to notice her distraction.
"Miss Y/N," The mention of her name made her look up and suddenly all eyes were on her. Even Jay's. "Do you not feel well? You seem a bit off tonight."
Y/N swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest as she tried to find the right words. "I'm just a little-"
"Oh right, Y/N, are you still single?" A voice interrupted her and she froze while everyone paused for a moment. Her coworkers were aware of Sungho's tragic death and they knew very well how it left Y/N emotionally scarred.
"Aera, I don't think you should bring that up," Another coworker spoke, trying to change the path of the conversation. But the damage was done, and Aera didn't seem to take the hint.
"I'm sure Y/N doesn't mind. It happened last winter, right? So it's been almost a year, it's long enough to move on, right?" Aera continued, seemingly oblivious to Y/N's discomfort. She never wanted to bring up the topic at work, but not it seemed like it was laid bare for everyone to see. And if she was to be honest, no time would be enough to truly move on from the loss of someone she loved deeply for six years, only to have him taken away in an instant.
An uncomfortable silence settled over the table while Y/N struggled to find the right words. She never knew why people wanted her, needed her to grieve the way they expected. Her grief was her own and six years of emotions couldn't be neatly folded away and tucked out of sight. She took a deep breath, her fingers gripping her napkin tightly under the table.
When she was about to speak, Jay's sudden voice made her stop. "Miss Aera, do you think you have the right to talk about someone else's personal life like that?" Jay's tone was calm but it left them all silent. Y/N looked up from her lap and stared at him in confusion and surprise. This was the man she met in Busan, the man who understood her pain and stood by her during her darkest days.
But a question lingered in her mind. Was she still the woman he knew from Busan? The woman he fell so deeply in love with?
"I... I didn't mean to..." Aera stammered, her words trailing off.
"Apologize to her." His gaze was fixed on Aera as she looked away and sighed as if she was the one who had been wronged.
"Sorry, Y/N, I didn't mean to upset you," She mumbled and Y/N nodded, accepting the apology even though it felt inadequate. She avoided her coworkers' gazes and drank Soju, glass after glass, until the dinner came to an end and she found herself outside the restaurant, the cool night air helping to clear her mind and numb her thoughts.
She was drunk and the next step she took, she ended up stumbling slightly, losing her balance, if not for Jay's strong arm quickly wrapping around her waist to prevent her from falling. "Careful."
"I'm... I'm okay." She tried to push his arm away but his grip remained firm, steadying her. The alcohol had blurred her vision, but she could still see the concern in his eyes, the same concern he had shown her in Busan when they first met.
"You don't look okay." He spoke softly and the tears that were glistening in her eyes started falling down her cheeks before she rested her forehead against his chest. She cried, not the kind of sobs that wrack the body, but the quiet, steady tears that release the pent-up sorrow. Jay held her close, his hand gently stroking her hair while she clutched into his shirt.
"I'm not okay at all." Her body felt weaker than she had realized. Her words were slurred, and the alcohol had loosened her tongue. "I missed you so much, you damn idiot."
