LIFE OF A MUSLIM BLACK MELANIN

I don't want to be strong.

(Rahma's pov)

After standing for a few minutes letting her hug me she finally withdrew herself away from the hug and I couldn't help but want to pull her back and embrace her.

She looked so healthy and from the sound of her voice few minutes back I could hear how happy and well she's doing, now remembering how hard my life has been without any support system when I was young, a sudden wave of anger and hurt hit me twice at once and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, I gently pushed my mother away from me while turning back to face Asif.

"Let's go home now" I said not knowing how miserable my Voice sounded.

I literally wanted to break down, shout and cry my heart out, everything is just getting too frustrating for me and I don't think I'll be able to handle it all.

Asif looked at me while asking me if I really wanted to leave through his eyes but I knew that if i stayed one more minute I'll end of crying.

I could feel my mom's presence behind me but deciding to ignore her I walked past Asif and everyone as I made my way to the exit.

"I'll wait for you inside the car." I told Asif and finally left the house.
But the moment I stepped out I broke down, I let the tears flow freely.

Not being able to hold myself in a standing position I slumped down on my knees and tried to stop the tears.

I don't want to cry, why should I?, I'm strong and shouldn't be crying, I'm way more powerful than this, I kept on repeating to myself as I harshly wiped the tears from my cheeks but new tears kept on flowing endlessly.

I couldn't do this, gosh I feel so miserable right now, but soon warm hands enveloped my little figure and I didn't have to look up to know who it was, he has always been the only person for me, the only person who understands me and takes care of me.

Without a single hesitation I hugged him back while burying my face in his chest as I kept on weeping.

"I'm so tired Asif, I don't want any of this anymore, I don't even want to be strong anymore, it's just breaking me apart, it's hard you know, all this, and I just want to be happy." I said as he still held me close to me.

"I wish I had the perfect words to say to you right now rahma, I wish I could make you happy and take away all the pain you feel, it kills me seeing you like this but it won't end and that's reality, it's not bad to be broken and weak once in a while, and whenever you feel weak I'll be right there by you and with you, I'll hold you close for as long as you need me and I promise that you won't ever have to pass through any of this alone."

"I'll always be here for you my queen." He said as he kissed my forehead and I couldn't help but to feel the swell of my heart even at moments like this, he somehow manages to make me calm and still feel butterflies.

One thing is for sure and that's the fact that I need Asif to survive, he's literally my world now.

We both stayed in that position for a few more minutes before Asif finally broke the silence between us by saying "Rahma, listen to me, as much as I know you're hurting she's your mother and you both need to talk, please give her a chance rahma, let her at least explain things to you, please for my sake." Asif said and I knew he was right, he's always right.

"Fine, I'll only talk to her because of you." I said while we broke our hug.

"Thank you." He said as he gave me one of his charming smiles.

Gosh he's handsomeness is going to kill me one day, he got up and offered his hand to me as I gladly accepted it and stood on my two feet's.

We both turned towards the big double door just to find my mother standing there and looking like she has just cried her heart out once again.

"I'll give you two some time alone." Asif said while he entered inside the house.

My mom slowly walked towards my way and once she was just a feet apart from me I asked her.

"Why mom?, Why didn't you come back for me that day when you went to look for dad, why didn't you come to find me while I was in the orphanage, why didn't you look for me when I was adopted?, Why did you leave me alone all this years without ever coming back for me?"

A/N
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