LIFE OF A MUSLIM BLACK MELANIN

HEALING

Asif's pov

If you had told me three years ago that I would end up falling in love with a girl that would later leave me, I would probably tell you how much I don't care

Or if I was told that I would one day find myself in a bar drinking,  I would have probably rejected it and started lecturing you on the fact that it is forbidden in Islam.

But here I am in a fucking bar, gobling down alcohol as the bitter taste burnt my throat and I wanted to forget.

But every sip I took, I saw her face, it didn't matter what I did, it didn't mater that I've drowned down two big bottles of whisky down my throat.

I so badly wanted to erase every single imprint of herself that she left with me.

I was hungry, hungry for her, i could devour the whole whisky collection on the shelf if it meant forgetting her for just one night.

Hell I would do it if it meant forgetting her for just a minute

Yet my heart yearned for her

My soul whispered her name, in silent waves.

I was angry,
angry at her for leaving me, for making me miserable.

But I was damn angry at myself for letting her have such a controll over me, although she was far, in My heart I know she'll always be close

I thought our love was so strong that it could break every obstacle and boundaries
But I became the obstacle she broke.

My families tried, my friends, teachers, and every single person tried to reach out to me.

To help me.
But I didn't need anyone's help.

Rahma is gone and I lost the ability to feel any emotion the minute she left.

):

After weeks of being miserable I finally got a hold of myself

Physically I looked perfectly fine but emotionally I wasn't.

I soon found myself writing poems about her.

How her beautiful long lashes would flutter whenever she looked at me.

How her dark skin always shone bright.
Her big doe eyes was my favourite

How I yearned to feel her In my arms again.

And soon I started writing songs about her, my poems turned into songs I found my self singing alot about her.

It was the only way I was able to keep her with me.

More weeks passed and it was suddenly the day of Graduation.

☆☆☆

I calmly stood up as my name was called through the mic.

I came up and took my certificate and my diploma.

Standing there on stage, My eyes scanned the whole hall.

With a flicker of hope that soon turned to disappointment.

Whenever I imagined this day.

I saw her seated there, cheering beside my family with a wide smile on her face as i would be called up on stage.

But she wasn't there and I only saw the ghost of her.

*****

After graduation,  we decided to have a bonfire gathering outside our house and we invited few of our friends.

Everyone played games, reminisced about high school memories but I stared off in space, my thought being occupied of one person.

"Dude aren't you going to play?" Asad asked.