LIFE OF A MUSLIM BLACK MELANIN

Every second of it

The night I had dinner with rahma was one of the most peaceful nights in my life. Every minute spent with her is peaceful.

She left her journal inside my car when i dropped her back home as usual.
At first, her family weren't in support of us getting back together, but they've finally concepted to us being a couple.

The Journal contains some of her greatest wishes and desires
Her biggest fears and her regrets.
I still remember the finely written words when she said her greatest desire is to spend the rest of her days as my wife
Her biggest regret is giving up on us and wasting years of us being together.

And lastly, her biggest fear is to see everyone that she loves break down due to her death.
I'll never learn to accept that rahma will one day leave and return back to Allah, but I do know that I would want to fulfil some of her greatest wishes.
I would savour every single second I have left with.

We were walking down the valley, holding hands as rahma kept on telling me about the protest and how they never stopped trying and I listened to every word she had to say.

Everything felt so perfect,  her here with me,  just the two of us against the world.

Just my hayati and I

"And it wasn't easy, we lost quite a few lives, but at the end every sacrifice didn't go to waste." She said

"And I'm so damn proud of you for never giving up." I replied.

Suddenly it all went quiet and this was it. The moment I've been waiting for.

"Rahma, this might be all so sudden to you since we just met, but death is truly uncertain, who knows I might be the one to die before you, only Allah knows, so I truly don't want to waste any time we have left." I said as I asked the question I've dreaded.

"Marry me." I said and she looked at the ring I held without moving a single each, maybe it was all too sudden for her, I should have waited a while.

But she proved me wrong as she wrapped her hands around my waist and enveloped me in a tight hug

"Yes, a thousand times, yes."

We spent our day there at the valley sharing stories and being in the comfort of each other and never would I forget that moment.

The moment she looked at me like I'm her world and her reason for still holding on.

"Asif." She called my name in a weak tone.

"Yes, hayati?"

"I'm tired." She whispered.

And I tried hard to blink the tears away but she saw right through my facade as she climbed on my body and wrapped her legs around my waist.

"I'm not going anywhere. " She whispered as she strocked her fingers through my hair.

And I couldn't hold back any more as the dam of tears I built finally shattered and my tears strocked down my cheeks

"It's not fair." I said wrapping my hands tightly around her weak frame.

"It's okay." She kept repeating
And how ironic it was that she was dying and still the stronger one among us.