The BNB

false hope

I found myself slowly coming back to reality feeling four arms around me and two voices murmuring calming things to me. I gasped as I felt myself regain control of my mind and lifted my head looking around confused.

"What was that kiddo?" My brother asked worriedly as he and the bnb let me go and sat in front of me still looking extremely concerned.

Not being able to talk I just shook my head looking down trying to find the answer myself. My eyes darted up and I flinched away as a hand reached up and brushed away a tear I didnt realize was rolling down my cheek.

"Hey, its ok, your fine hunny." The bnb said softly as he brushed another tear away.

I looked up at him and whimpered quietly still shaken by how my own body had just acted.

Wtf was that? Why can't I talk? Why was I freaking out so much?

Question after question ran through my head without answers and I felt my breathing starting to get faster as I spiraled.

"Hey! Hey, hey, hey, common Stephie calm down. Just focus on me and your breathing for a minute." The bnb soothed as he grabbed hold of my hands, efficiently grounding me.

After about half an hour of this and me listening to the music my brother was playing, finally the tears cleared from my eyes and I was breathing normally again. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath to clear my mind before speaking.

"I-I don't know w-what that was..." I manage to get out through shaky breaths hating how my voice trembled so badly.

"I'm pretty sure you had a panic attack. My Ex, Jordan, used to have them..." The bnb said causing my brother to look at him questioningly.

"Ex?" He asked.

"Yeah we broke up..." The bnb said moving back to his chair and hitting his vape.

"Oh." Me and my brother both said.

I realized I'd said it out loud when the bnb glanced at me then my brother but luckily he hadnt seemed to have noticed. Then the bnb looked back over to me and smile softly, his eyes still looking worried.

"You ok now?" He asked me, concern lacing his voice in a way that I hated for some reason.

I didnt like the way he was watching me, like he was afraid I'd break at any moment, so I picked the vape back up and took a MUCH smaller hit and nodded while holding the smoke in as I'd seen him and my brother doing.

My brother yanked the vape away looking at me like I was crazy. His eyes changed to something similar to being proud as I blew the air out smoothly after a few seconds.

"See, I'm fine!" I said through the last bit of smoke making me cough a little.

"Nice." The bnb said smirking at me as if he knew that I was just trying to look cool.

"Thanks, can I try yours?" I asked, grinning as he handed me his.

I listened intently as he explained the proper way to breathe it in and when to let go of the button baffled that BREATHING could be something so complicated with a vape involved. I took my second hit and it turned out much better than the first even though I still felt a sting in my throat.

Both boys threw out some praise then we all went back to talking about random stuff and enjoying the afternoon air. Eventually my mom got home so we all headed inside to say hello then planted ourselves on the couch in our normal spots when she went to her room.

That night I picked the movie and chose a ghost movie since I had an obsession with them since I was a kid. As we laid on the pullout I cuddled closer to the bnb than normal without the guilt of him having a girlfriend distancing us.

I should have asked him about it that night but I was too tired and happy to care.

Always get the full story my little berries, people are very good at choosing their words to get what they want.