The BNB

Panic attacks in paradise

I woke up to a bump in the road a little later and sat back in my seat noticing the bnb's hand wasn't behind the seat anymore. I tried to use the side mirror to look at him but he was heavily engrossed in his phone for some reason. I sighed and leaned my head against the window looking out it distractedly until I felt my phone vibrate.

Hot Doofus
Whatcha pouting for kiddo?

Strawbaby
I'm not. And stop calling me that, it feels weird considering we've kissed.

Hot Doofus
Fair.
That what do you want me to call you?

Strawbaby
Ionno, just not that.
What do you have me as in your phone?

Hot Doofus
Honestly? Its a little embarrassing tbh

Strawbaby
Its finnnere only I needa know so what's the big deal?

Hot Doofus
Its in there as "The cutest shortie"

Strawbaby
One,SIR, I'm NOT short
Two, so like just call me cutie over text and ig shortie irl idk

I really hated being called short but I couldn't have him calling me cutie in front of my brother so this was the best I could do.

I sat down my phone beside me and smiled as I caught the bnb looking at me in the side mirror. We held eye contact for a few moments before he winked and looked away leaving me confused about what the wink was about.

There are so many things he did that even now I have no explanation for. I really was blinded back then.

I spent the last few minutes of the car ride entranced by my music completely ignoring the world around me until I felt the car pull into a parking spot. We all got out and the bnb and I waited on the front steps while my brother checked to see if our mom was home. She wasn't per usual due to her job.

We went inside, set down our stuff, and went all the way back outside to the patio knowing my dad was asleep in his room. Smoking had become a regular thing for me either how much my brother did it. Whenever my parents weren't home I followed him outside and he'd usually hand me a cig. This time once we had all sat down he held his vape out to me.

"I wanna see if you can hit it without dying" he said casually while shrugging when he saw me hesitating.

"Die?" I asked half thinking he was serious.

"He means die as in coughing your lungs out. Just breath in while pushing the button, youll be fine Steph." The bnb chimed in.

Hearing him actually say my name had way to much of an effect on me looking back but at the time it was all I needed to convince me to take a massive pull from the vape. MAJOR MISTAKE ON MY PART.

As i sat there "coughing my lungs out" I could feel my eyes watering and my chest constricting, not getting enough air between coughs. As I became more and more aware of how hard it was to breathe the nicotine kicked in. The combination turned into a terrifying blur of gasping and crying from the firey feeling in my throat.

As I started getting lost in my own panic I faintly heard the bnb and my brother talking worriedly.

"Damn dude, what wattage is that thing on??" The bnb asked when the violent coughing started.

"Shit." Was all my brother said in response rushing inside and yelling "Imma get you some water kiddo!" behind him as he walked through the living room.

The bnb was now sitting on the ground in front of me holding my hands and telling me to breathe over and over but I could barely hear him. These were the most intense emotions I'd ever felt and I had no idea why I was so scared. My head felt fuzzy but jagged at the same time and it felt like I was drowning. I curled into myself as the world spun around me not even realizing how I'd practically yanked my hands away from the bnb.

I don't know how long I sat there huddled in my little ball with labored breathing because after a few minutes the world no longer existed to me. There was only fear and the screeching pain in my lungs as if they were crying out for more air than I could ever seem to take in.

Ik this story was pause for a bit but I was just looking through it and decided I needed to finish it. I'll probably post a few more today and we'll see if my feelings on finishing it remain. Thats all. Byeee