Me and Charley

18. Longing for Light

I sat bolt upright in bed, suddenly wide awake. I couldn't open my eyes. My hands flew to them. Touching the patches brought me back to reality. OK, calm down, I thought. Just one more day of this. I felt around for the alarm clock. It announced, "The time is one fourteen a.m." I felt restless and had an urge to go sit on the deck for a while. I put on my shorts and t-shirt and got the cane. I tapped as softly as I could so as not to wake Mom and I used the bathroom without flushing. I found my way along the wall to the stairs, and on down and through the living room and kitchen and laundry room. The nocturnal summer chorus greeted me at the back door: crickets, frogs soprano and bass, an owl off somewhere and Lord knows what else, with the occasional splash of something in the pond. I stretched out on one of the chaise lounges and breathed deeply of the warm sweet summer night air. My fears released their grip on me.

"Trey!" Mom called my name as she shook me awake. For a moment I didn't know where I was. "Trey!" she said again. "What in the world are you doing?"

"Sleepin', I guess. Or I was." I felt the faint warmth of the rising sun on my face.

"Why are you out here? I was frightened to death when I didn't find you in your bed."

"I woke up I was all nervous and all. I felt like I needed to get outside for a while. I didn't mean to sleep here all night."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"It wasn't like when I had that nightmare. As soon as I woke up I knew what was going on."

"Trey, please, don't be wandering around by yourself. What if you had fallen down the stairs or something?"

"Well, I didn't, did I, Mom? You treat me like I was helpless or somethin'."

"Oh, Trey, what am I going to do with you?" With that she wrapped her arms around me and held me tight, and I returned her embrace. When we let go she said, "Trey, I need to go to work right now. I'll call Ms. Rhoda and explain, and see if she'll come get you when you're ready. Now Trey, look me in the eye."

I said "Mom...?"

"Oh. Listen carefully, then. Do not try to walk to their house by yourself. Promise me, Trey."

"All right, Mom, I promise."

"I hate to leave you here by yourself, but I have to go this minute. Call Ms. Rhoda as soon as you've washed up and you're ready to go to their house." She caressed the back of my head and kissed my forehead. "I love you, son. Please be careful."

"Yes'm, I will. I love you too." I reached up to find her cheek and kiss it, but my hand met empty air. She was gone already. It wasn't twenty seconds when her truck cranked over and sped up the driveway. I came more fully awake and started to feel guilty for causing her and Ms. Rhoda so much trouble. As I sat on the end of the chaise lounge and tried to get my mind together the phone rang. I started to find my way through the house to the front hall. I thought, I'll never get there before they give up. It kept ringing and ringing, though, until I finally found it and answered, "Hello?"

It was Charley. "Hey, Trey, mind if I come down and give you a hand?"

"Yeah, Charley, please come. I don't know if Mom got out any fresh clothes for me."

"OK. Give me a few minutes. I still can't wear my braces so I'm awful slow gettin' anywhere."

"Aw Charley. Hey, don't feel like you hafta come."

"I want to, OK?" See you in a few. Bye." He hung up before I could object further. I decided to return to the deck to wait for him but I got disoriented and it took me a while to figure out which way to go. When I got to the kitchen I picked up the click-swish-thud that Charley's crutches and "good" foot produced with each step he took as he crossed the deck walking without his braces. "Hey, Charley," I called out. "Here in the kitchen."