Me and Charley

29. Unbearable Pain

The phone woke me the next morning. The alarm clock announced, "The time is seven forty-two." Mom was off work and she had said that I could stay out of school another day. I was sure that she was still asleep after the rigors of the day before. Through her closed bedroom door and mine I barely heard the sound of her voice as she used the extension next to her bed. I would gladly have turned over and gone back to sleep, but now I figured Mom had been called in to work and I'd be going to Grandpa's, so I got up and used the bathroom. Mom met me in the hallway. "Trey," she said, "that was Ms. Rhoda. She said there's trouble in Ohio and your Aunt Laura wants me to call, but she wants Ms. Rhoda here when I do."

"Mom, what is it?" I asked, suddenly consumed with anxiety.

"I don't know, son. Get dressed."

I had just done that when the doorbell rang. Mom called from the bathroom, "Trey, go answer that, please. I'm sure it's Ms. Rhoda." I trotted down the stairs and opened the door, and saw that the day was dark and drizzly. Ms. Rhoda and Charley came in, Charley in his wheelchair and both looking awful, and Ms. Rhoda said, "Hello, Trey, where's your mother?"

"She's getting dressed," I replied.

"Here I am," Mom called from the top of the stairs. She just about flew down and Ms. Rhoda embraced her, while Charley stood next to me.

"Rhoda," Mom asked, "What's going on?"

"Call Laura," Ms. Rhoda replied. The tremor of Mom's hand as she dialed filled me with dread. Soon she said, "Laura?" A pause. "All right," Mom said, and sat on the chair next to the phone. Another brief pause. "Yes, she's here," Mom said. "Laura, please tell me what's going on." A longer pause, and Mom began to shout, "No! No! No-o-o-o!" and she broke down weeping. I went over and held her as I looked anxiously at Ms. Rhoda. Ms. Rhoda took the phone and said, "Laura, we'll call back when Jane's calmed down. I'll fill her in on the details when she's ready." A pause, then Ms. Rhoda said, "You know you're in our prayers. God bless all of you. Good-bye."

I asked, "Ms. Rhoda, please, what's going on?"

"I'll tell you in a minute, Trey," she said. "Let's get your mother to the couch." Ms. Rhoda took Mom's hands in hers and walked Mom to the couch where Ms. Rhoda sat her in the middle, with herself on one side and me on the other. I was trembling, for I had never seen Mom remotely like as out of control as she was then. She leaned into Ms. Rhoda and moaned "Ohhh, ohhh, ohhh," over and over. "Ms. Rhoda," I asked, desperation in my voice, "what is it?"

She replied, "Please, Trey, I'll tell you when your mother calms down some."

"Mom," Charley asked, "Can I tell him?"

"Yes, Charley," said Ms. Rhoda. "Take him into the kitchen and shut the door."

Charley led the way. I hated to leave Mom but I had to know. I shut the door behind us. I moved a chair away so Charley could sit at the end of the table. He said, "Sit down," indicating the chair next to him around the corner. I sat down and asked, "OK, Charley, what's going on?"

"Uncle Bob died last night," Charley said.

I gasped and exclaimed, "Jesus Christ! What happened to him?"

Charley replied, "Paul's alarm went off at six-thirty and when he went to shut it off there was a note taped to the clock. I don't remember it word for word but it went something like, 'Dear Paul, I'm so sorry. I wish I were as brave as you but I just can't take any more. Call the police and have them go to the garage. Please don't go in there yourself. I love you, son, and I'm sure your aunts and uncle will take good care of you. If your brother comes home please try to forgive him, and please forgive me. Love, Dad.'"