Find me again

chapter 8

Carina was once again alone. Maya and Frankie had stuck around for most of the day and Carina had truly had a good time. Trust an innocent child to take away any awkwardness, she thought. She had been feeling guilty all day though, first it was from the breakdown, but once Maya had gone above and beyond to assure her that it was okay, she started feeling guilty towards another person. The logical side of her brain told her that she was being stupid, but there was still some part of her that needed to come clean. She huffed and picked up the phone. There was no harm in checking if she still had the number, right? She did. She pressed it without thinking twice about it.

"Hey, Carina. This is a surprise." The jolly voice made Carina smile. Then she laughed a little awkwardly.

"Yes, hi Arizona. I am sorry for just calling out of the blue. Is this a good time?" She asked timidly.

"I'm not busy." The blonde assured. "What's up?"

"Okay, so here is the thing." Carina took a deep breath, realising that this was going to be hard to explain. "I was in a car accident, and I lost my memories, like ten years worth, and then I woke up and now I am married and with a kid and one on the way. But the thing is that in my head I am still in a relationship with you." She paused, but the other woman stayed silent. "Listen, I am not expecting anything from you. I just, how should I explain, I feel guilty and I wanted to maybe clear some things up?" Still, there was not a word coming from the other end of the line. "Or you know what, this was a bad idea, I am sorry for bothering you." She said, but just as she was about to hang up Arizona spoke up.

"No, no please don't hang up. That was just a lot of information. Are you okay?" Carina could hear the genuine concern in her voice.

"Physically, yes. I am being discharged tomorrow I think. Everything else has been a lot."

"Yeah, I can't even imagine." The blonde laughed.

"I don't even know why I called, I guess I just needed closure."

"We broke up because I had to move back to New York because of Sofia. It was tough for us, but Carina to be honest, we weren't right for each other. You were never interested in getting to know Sofia and I wasn't interested in you guys meeting. We had fun and you were really great and helped me to not take life so seriously, but we were not supposed to be each other's forever." Arizona offered up.

"Thank you, I needed to hear that." Carina felt tears pooling in her eyes. "Thank you for taking the time." She was once again about to hang up, but the blonde stopped her.

"Do you want to tell me about your wife?" Carina could tell Arizona meant it, and that she wasn't just being polite.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, have you met her yet? And what about your kid?" That made Carina smile.

"Well my wife's name is Maya. She is this incredibly hot firefighter, she is really badass." Carina laughed a little. "Or that's what everyone says at least, because I have only seen this really soft mommy side of her, which is pretty badass in its own way I guess." Arizona chuckled. "And we have the most precious little daughter. Her name is Frankie and she's almost three. She is a little rascal, so much energy. I forgot toddlers never run out of energy. And she looks so much like Andrea I almost cried when I saw her picture for the first time." Carina rambled. "And they came by and spent the entire day here. It was a pretty good day, but some part of me felt guilty for enjoying it because I haven't broken up with you, or we have but..." She trailed off.

"Oh, Carina. They sound wonderful. I understand the guilt, but try not to feel guilty, we are truly over and I know you know that but I swear, no hard feelings."