Find me again

chapter 14

Carina needed a plan. She could probably get an uber to the hospital and find Amelia or someone to stay with for a little while. Or she could get a hotel, maybe. Hopping on a flight to Italy even crossed her mind, but she quickly decided that of all the bad ideas she had today, that was the worst one. She was still pregnant after all. Maya would want their daughter, she would take care of them both and Carina could disappear once she had given birth. It wasn't that she didn't want the baby, or Frankie for that matter. She loved them both so much it hurt, and that's why it hurt that she was screwing it up. She kept hurting Frankie and Maya, she would undoubtedly hurt the baby girl too.

She made her way over to the park the three of them had gone to just a few days prior, found a bench and sat down. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there. Her phone was buzzing constantly, she knew it was Maya so she just let it buzz. She just sat there, watching people walk, run and bike by. A family of four walking caught her eyes. She felt herself tear up, that could be her, she could have that if she wasn't a horrible person who yelled and got angry. She would have had that if she didn't get in that fucking car accident. The buzzing suddenly became unbearable so she dug into her bag and threw the phone as far as she could. It landed right in front of an old man who was walking slowly. He stopped to look at her, then back down on the phone, then he looked at her again. She just smiled sheepishly, a little embarrassed of the action. The man bent down slowly and picked it up, before calmly making his way over to her, sitting down on the other side of the bench. The phone still in his lap. They were both quiet for a few minutes. The phone started buzzing again, so the man handed it over.

"It's cracked, but it still works." The man shrugged. Carina just hummed and took the phone.

"How far along are you?" He asked, pointing to her belly.

"Almost thirty five weeks." Carina muttered.

"Wow, that means it's time soon. Are you excited?" She considered telling the man to leave her alone, she knew she was good at that, but something about his calm demeanour was comforting to Carina.

"Not really," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh?" The man asked. "Can I ask why not?"

"You wouldn't believe me." Carina laughed, feeling some tension leave her body. The thought of explaining her condition to a stranger made it all seem ridiculous.

"Try me, you could tell me anything right now and it wouldn't matter. I am just a stranger on a bench." He explained.

"Okay, well. I don't really know where to start."

"The beginning is usually a good place." He smiled kindly and Carina let out a chuckle.

"Okay, so a few months ago I got into a car crash and when I woke up I had forgotten the last ten years of my life. I have a wife and a three year old, and this one." She placed her hands on her belly, caressing it lovingly.

"Wow, that's quite the challenge." Carina wanted to laugh at him. A challenge was only the beginning of it. "What have you been doing since?"

"I have lived with them, of course I fell in love with little Frankie right away, and I think I might even love my wife. They are amazing, but I am messing everything up."

"How so?"

"Well, I am so angry all the time. I was never an angry person, but now everything seems to frustrate me. I keep lashing out at Maya, who is nothing but patient, which somehow annoys me too." The man let out a short laugh. "And today we got into a fight, or I got into a fight, I screamed in her face. She just allowed it. Afterwards I could hear my little girl crying, and I knew I had to leave them alone. I keep hurting them."

"Hmm, so what is your plan now?" He asked.

"I don't really have one." She said sheepishly. Just then the phone in her lap lit up once again.

"She is worried." He pointed out.

"She's mad."

"No, trust me, I have been married for 51 years. Your wife calls you that many times in a row, she's worried. When she's mad she won't call at all." He quipped. Carina put her head down, a little shamefully.

"And take it from me. If you love her, don't leave. My wife is sick, she doesn't remember me most days, but I remember her. I remember for the both of us. I still want her around, even when she gets angry and frustrated that she can't remember anything. It is always better to have her close. I don't know what I would do if she left me. Your wife seems to love you very much. She will remember for the both of you."

Carina looked at her phone again and picked it up. "You're probably right." She looked at the picture of Frankie and Maya. He got up from where he was sitting.

"A little cracked, but it still works." He winked and walked on. Carina sat stunned for a couple of seconds before she remembered to yell a thank you to the man. He just smiled and waved and that was that. She wasn't ready to answer the phone, but she did send a message telling Maya she was at the park. The blonde could do with that information what she would.