Sin & Salvation

Chapter 15

It's 4:30 by the time I get home. My body feels gross and sweaty from my run at the park, not to mention my little "pre-workout" with Brett in his office after my talk with Payton. It was exactly what I needed to destress. He had to rush for a meeting, so it was too quick for me to be satisfied, but it made me happy knowing that it made him happy. And that's really all that matters to me.

After my run, I decided to stop at the grocery store to grab ingredients for Brett's favorite dinner: chicken parmesan with homemade red sauce over angel hair. I'm hoping that all my efforts today will make Brett forget about last night. I got no sleep after our argument. When I make him upset, all I can think about is how to make it better and what I could've done differently.

I set everything down on the counter and open the fridge to start putting things away. The only noise echoing through the large kitchen is me organizing the shelves and it makes me suddenly uneasy. Silence always makes me anxious because I'm reminded of just how alone I am in this big house and then that thought usually spirals me into a long, grueling session of overthinking.

"Alexa! Play 'Cora's playlist'."

I hear her respond in confirmation and 'Tek It' by Cafuné starts playing through the speakers. My head nods to the beat as I put things away and I get lost in the song. Music always calms me down and when I'm here alone most of the day, it's nice to have something to distract me.

When I met Brett in college, I was studying to eventually become a social worker or a school psychologist. I'd always loved working with kids and couldn't (still can't) wait to become a mother someday. I graduated with a BA in Social Work, but when I began looking for work, COVID began in full swing and the entire world shut down.

Weeks passed, then months, then years. Brett eventually convinced me that I really didn't have to work because he could take care of me. Not to mention, somebody needed to take care of this enormous house and if we were going to start trying to have kids after the wedding in a few months, there really was no point in me starting a career just to leave.

Everything he said made sense, but at the same time, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't wish I could be working and keeping myself busy. It was always my dream to help children who were in unfortunate situations and be able to place them into loving and healthy homes. I guessed I'd just have to turn all that love and affection onto my own kids in the future and hope that was enough to fulfill me.

The song continues and I find myself singing along with it. I really listen to the lyrics of the song and when I do, I pause.

"Let it run my mood, can't stop thinking of you."

I abruptly stop what I'm doing and my mind flashes to the one person I can't stop thinking about recently— Silas Bennett. I immediately get a flashback of him as he leaned over me today in his office and all of my senses come to life, remembering the moment vividly.

His chiseled, breath-taking features as he imposed on me.

The way his cologne went from spicy to warm the closer our bodies became.

Our breathing slow and synced while the air around us sparked, feeling almost electric and alive.

We were so close to tasting one another, and I wonder if the spearmint from his gum would have caressed my taste buds, leaving my mouth feeling ice-cold right after.

I let myself imagine the kiss that didn't happen. How I would've run my fingers through his soft, black hair, tugging at the strands to deepen the kiss. His impossibly large, tattooed hands would run down my back, grab a handful of my ass, and then hoist me up around his waist. As I settled on him, his hard length would push against my entrance, begging to be deep inside.