Sin & Salvation

Chapter 12

Closing the plastic bag of carrots, I place it into the reusable bag full of other snacks and the sandwich I made Brett for lunch. I feel a sense of satisfaction when everything is packed away and I close it all up. I decided at the last minute I was going to bring Brett a homemade lunch to the office as a way to apologize for accusing him last night. He's always eating out for lunch and he loves it when I cook for him, so I figured it would be a nice surprise.

Not to mention he has tinted windows in his office, so I figure for dessert he can take me over his desk. Food and a good fuck, what more could the man want?

I'm still trying to wrap my head around last night, and how I could've been so stupid to accuse Brett of cheating on me. While I felt so sure of what I heard last night, I also realize the combination of not sleeping well and my mental breakdown probably has my brain all kinds of fucked up . My mind likes to play tricks on me, as Brett has pointed out many times, and that's probably what happened when I went downstairs.

Or— maybe I heard exactly what I thought I did and he is cheating on me. I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind a few times over the years. I always worry that I'm not good enough for him or that he might look for something better elsewhere. Someone smaller, more attractive, more submissive, or willing to fuck him whenever he pleases.

Or all of the above.

But it's hard to imagine when I think about how obsessed he is with me. I mean, he watches me on the security cameras practically all day, and when would he even have the time to see someone else? He's so busy with work and he comes home right after, it just wouldn't make sense. Granted, he has been doing some late nights, but that only started recently and it's not uncommon for him to do that with this job.

I rid the thought from my mind and look at the time on my phone. Almost 11:30, and he usually goes to lunch around 12. I decide to text Payton to let her know I'll be coming, and to see if Brett is busy with any meetings. She replies in less than a minute as I'm gathering everything up.

Payton: YESSSS, I haven't seen you in forever babe! He's finishing up a call right now but he should be done by the time you get here. You can just hang out with my cute self until he gets done ;)

My heart pangs at Payton's text because I realize I haven't seen her in almost two weeks. When Brett and I fight more, I tend to get into moods where I shut myself out from the world. Hopefully after today, things will get better. I make a promise to myself that I'll take her out to lunch or dinner soon.

Me: I'm so excited! I really hope he'll be surprised.

Me: Also I know, life has been so busy and we have to make time to see each other more. You know I love you P ♡

Payton: Oh shush, I love you more Coco ♡

I can't help but smile at the nicknames Payton and I gave each other in first grade. We were at her house making brownies with her mom, and when I went to open the container of cocoa powder, it exploded all over me and the kitchen. Payton laughed so hard she peed her pants and from then on I became Coco and she became P.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to being 7 years old at Payton's house, smelling the brownies baking in the oven while we run around in her backyard. Her mom would call us in and give us slices fresh out of the oven— I'd get the middle and Payton would get a crispy corner. Happier times, no stress, and no annoying men to deal with.

Double-checking that I have everything I need, I head out to the car feeling super giddy and excited because I love surprising Brett at work. For some reason though, I can't deny that there's a gnawing feeling of anxiety sitting in the bottom of my stomach trying to crawl its way up. I decide to ignore it and hope it doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.