LAVENDER HAZE - J. Hughes

Four

And you don't really read into my melancholia

I laid awake in bed. I made out with Trevor last night. For like an hour. We didn't have sex or anything, sure he grabbed my ass a few times but all we did was kiss. Holy shit.

Is it bad that all I thought about was Jack? I wondered if he would be jealous. If he would be mad. If he would hate me or hate Trevor. Or if he would even care at all. I also doubt Trevor was gonna go telling anyone because if Jackson found out I don't think he would be happy.

Today was another boat day.

Atleast I could burn out all my anxiety with the suns rays bouncing off the lake and reflecting directly onto my skin. I put on a bikini and a cover up, filling a bag with bait day essentials such as sunscreen, tanning oil, a thermo water jug, a book, a towel, and a claw clip.

When I was finally ready the boys were already at the end of the dock loading up the coolers. "Finally" Luke yelled. "Took you long enough"

"Shut it Luke" I yelled back. When I got to the boat Ethan and Seamus helped me on. I secured a spot near the front, laying out my towel and shimmying off my shorts and folding them to go away. I sat crisscrossed, watching the boys all fight each other to get on and get good spots.

Jack sat towards the front too, a little ways away from where I laid out my towel. Trevor decided to put his stuff right beside mine. "Morning" he greeted causally.

"Morning" I muttered quietly, blushing red as I remembered what we did the night before. My eyes flickered to find Jack as they always do and I found him eyeing me curiously. I quickly looked away, scared he could see into my mind and see the image of me and Trevor.

Jackson and Quinn fought over who drove the boat but they ended up 'co-captaining' they called it. They drove out to an area where there wasn't many other boats so we could have some privacy from other people. The second we went idle the guys nearly all jumped right in to swim. Trevor stayed up with me.

I was sat up, leaning back reading my book when I felt a hand on my thigh. I tried to act unfazed, knowing he was trying to get my attention. My skin was ultra sensitive as he moved his hand up my leg until I grabbed it to stop it. "Trevor" I practically hissed, looking around in panic. He just laughed it off.

"Are you gonna just read all day? Come play with us" he whined. I scrunched up my nose.

"Ew, why word it like that?"

"Yeah that was weird" He nodded. He stood up and took off his shirt. I was high key side eyeing his abs but I was not gonna let him know that. He didn't say anything else, he just jumped in to join the rest of the guys.

I got two pages in before the book was ripped from my hands. Jack. "Jack please give it back" I sat up on my knees and reached up trying to get it from him but he just held it up higher.

"Come swim" he said.

"No. Not yet. I'm trying to get some sun first."

"You have a great tan. Come swim" he repeated, making sure to mark my page first before he closed the book and slid it into my bag. "Come on, I promise we won't splash you. I'll tell them myself."

He was going to tell them not to splash me. He was gonna protect me. Here we go again. "Can you give me like a minute to prepare my body for the water?" I gave in, seeing his eyes light up as he sat beside me.

"Sure" I clipped my hair up into a claw clip to hopefully avoid the water. I reapplied some chapstick and stood up.

"Ready" I told him. He not so subtly dragged his eyes down my body, making me feel self conscious at being so exposed. Was he judging or admiring? Probably judging, knowing all the girls he gets with.